you dont know them anymore??

[ryan1987]

I am currently about a month into strict NC, as yet i have heard nothing from her, i think it is because of the exams she has been undertaking, she is a focused worker, at this point in time, i have lost most of my grief, but that has turned to anger! i am so mad about the way we spilt! the way i treated her, just to get all that effort threw away!, i still have my bad days, but more and more good ones, it has been almost 2 and a half months since the split and like many i would love nothing more than to reconcile, right!

 

but now it has been so long since contact i feel like i dont know her anymore,! and that i couldnt speak to her on the phone, real life, talk to her parents! i think if we got back together now it would be a relationship with a hole new beginning, i honestly feel that the person i was in love with so much 3 months ago is a dreamy charcter,, has anyone else felt like they dont know their ex anymore after NC?

[AwdreeHpburn]

Oh ME!! ME!! I have. Totally Ryan, and for the most part, its really true. They're not the same person.

 

They're having different experiences that you will hear nothing about. They are meeting new people you will never meet.

 

And the fantasy of who they were will fade instantly if and when you talk to them.

 

But the same goes for you.

 

You are changing, having new and different experiences that you are not sharing your thoughts on with her.

 

You are talking to and meeting people she will never know.

 

To me, these are all good things and make the transition and separation more permanent and will eventaully enable you to find someone you're more perfect for.

 

But try not to look at how well or badly you treated her as all for not. Learn from it. Use the good stuff later. Throw out the stuff that didn't work. It's all a learning experience that will make it easier the next time.....

[ryan1987]

its really really strange, and it sadens me when i think about how separate we have become, from being eachothers world to becoming distant planets, such a bad feeling, i hope in time i will be ready to enter a new relationship, a real relationship, though i would most deffinetly fear the commitment,

 

i still dont know why i was broken up with, and still hope that after exam stress is gone and her timetable is empty emotion will creep back in to her cold veins lol,, and we will be 1 again, ;p

 

thanks for the reply i thought it was just me, because everyone speaks of NC and we here of some miricale get togethers 5 months down the line, and i just cannot picture it happining in that length of time, with the rate our friendship has fragmented allready

[joyce1412]

i share both sentiments: the grief that has given way to anger as well as the "wow, we don't know each other anymore." i had feared the day when i would feel like that. but since the day is essentially here (it's been 2 months), it's not as bad as i had feared. honestly, it doesn't sound like things are going well for my ex from what friends are telling me. so i don't "know" him--i only feel sorry for him. i think one day we will meet again...and if we don't get back together, then honestly, i don't think he'll have much to look forward to for a long while.

[coooolsome]

I know how you feel.