Feel like I am going to be single for life...

[Alien777]

There is something that is really bothering me at the moment. All I ever do is go to work, come home and go to sleep. I hardly ever get a chance to meet anyone nice, not even as a girlfriend but just as a friend. I have not had a girlfriend for such a long time that I sometimes wonder if I will ever have one again. I get worried that I might stay single for the rest of my life (I know this might sound strange for a guy but it is how I feel). The thing is that I want to go out with someone just because I am afraid of being alone - I want to be with someone who really enjoys my company and likes me for who I am. I just dont want to become cyanical like this lady who used to lecture at my old college. She is the rudest, nastiest, most hurtful person I had ever met and everyone knew that it was because she did not have a husband and was upset with the world because of that. That is not how I want to become, I dont want a girlfriend to complete my life, only one to enhance it. Right now at work I have so much work to do but I am struggling because this is bothering me so much. I just feel like giving up, does someone have some advice for me please I would really appreciate it.

Thanks

[snowchild]

As the logo says - You're not alone

 

I've only ever had 1 girlfriend (I'm 27) and this relationship is dying. When it's over I can't see myself getting another girl but that's just my pessimism.

 

I know that if I get out enough, and make the time, then I will meet new women and friends. May I suggest that you join a club in the evenings or weekends and make the time. Try not to dwell on your lonliness as that will make it seem bigger than it really is. Keep telling yourself positive things and if you ever think 'I'll never have a girlfriend' then immediately think 'that's stupid, of course I will get one if I make time to meet more people and do X, Y and Z'. It will uplift your spirits and give you motivation.

 

Don't give up, it will happen.

[sharkgirl]

Hello.

 

I felt the same way as you did. I had a relationship with someone in college and then for about 8 yrs after that...nothing. There was casual dating and guys that were my close friends, but nothing more. I was convinced it would never happen for me again. Truth be told, I was lazy about looking for it. I just wanted one to land on my doorstep and announce that they were the one and only. And I wanted them for all the wrong reasons. I wanted them to fix my problems and revamp my life. That is a huge expectation to have for someone you've never met. So don't go looking for the wrong reasons. And I found that once I stopped looking, there they were.

 

Don't worry, there is at least one someone for everyone in this overpopulated world. You'll find them, or they'll find you.

[babycristy456]

you sound like you work alot and socialize alot less. Are you looking for women in the right places? what I mean is, that as sharkgirl said, it's not going to fall in your lap.

 

Are you going out to places where you can meet women? like clubs for example... You can also meet new women in everyday places like at your local cafe or the supermarket, you might want to start a conversation with them and ask them on a date if you are interested.

 

Well, Good Luck anyways

[Tredence]

hey alien

 

your post is quite hardcase, due to the fact, that that's how I was feeling, work - home - sleep, do it all over again and I'm thinking that's my life, I'll be single for the rest of my life

 

the fear of growing old, alone is a tiresome fear, it can wear you out if you let it get to you, being with someone and not loving them is living a lie, to be with someone only to use them as a smokescreen to your fears is not right, don't panic

 

you don't want to be alone? but why? you need to admit to yourself why you don't want to be alone and concentrate on fixing those issues, you have to be truthful

 

I don't want to grow old alone, because I know I have a lot to give, and from my perspective it would be unfortunate for me not to share my knowledge, thoughts and love

 

if you're throwing yourself into work, you need to find an alternative outlet, something more leisurable, even try new avenues - put yourself on unfamiliar ground

 

if you want to meet someone, perhaps first try doing something you enjoy? go on social outings with the guys, catch up with old friends and relations, share your concerns with them

 

remember as long as there's a new day tomorrow, and as far as you're concerned you can decide what you want to do with it

 

you sound like you need to shake up your routine

 

best of luck, break out of your norm, it won't hurt, learn from your mistakes and move on