Am I Annoying My New Friend?

[SoMuchLove]

Hi

 

I'm confused about the point to a friendship I'm in.

 

Me and a recent new friend of mine hit it off very well, but now I feel we've reached the point that we are familiar with each other now and things have "calmed down" bewteen us.

 

The thing is, I don't know if I'm annoying her or if we just need a break from each other (we talk almost everyday) because I've been getting the vibe that she doesn't want to talk to me (not answering my calls or e-mails.. though few they are as well as a feeling that she is avoiding me) and I have the feeling that I've been annyoing her by simply doing what we've been doing all along: talking to her on a daily basis.(not implying that things are weird because we aren't talking on a daily basis too much anymore...)

 

I never really had a friendship we're I've gotten past the "getting to know each other phase" (the exciting part when you first meet someone) and just simply enjoy each other for the people we've become to know each other as (when it reaches the "comfort zone") so this is kind of new to me... (good friends are hard to come by)

 

I really confused and unsure about what's going on... I feel like I can still talk to her for hours and have a thousand things to say to her, but on her side of things I'm not sure if it's the same anymore... and I don't know if I'm worrying over nothing lol...

 

All insightful opinions are welcome!

[renaissancewoman101]

Are your conversations one-sided meaning are you or she doing all the talking and the other person is doing all the listening. I am not saying this is the case but if you are doing all the talking and all the initiating, she might be tired of listening to you and dropping you hints that she wants a breather or that she wants you to listen to her too.

 

I get like that with my best friend. Sometimes I get tired of him doing all the yapping about his life and his life's problems, but we are good friends enough that I will yell at him to "sh*t up and listen to me for once about MY problems". If I scream loud enough (to wake up the dead), he'll pause and listen to me for a bit.

[AwdreeHpburn]

somuchlove - she may just not have as much time to carry on as she has OR maybe she was waiting to see if it would develop into something else and realizes it won't.

 

Either way, if I were you, I would just back off a bit. Just a bit.

 

Every day is reeeaaaallllly often. I can see MYself getting worn out from that. Maybe give her a day or two before you contact her again. Ya never know, she may call you. But I'd give her a day or two with no contact.

[SoMuchLove]

Hi renaissancewomen101,

 

The Conversations are never one-sided. We both do an equal amount of talking/conversation initiating because we both think almost just alike. T be honest, I've spent more time listening to her lol. Mostly because I already know who I am, so I never feel the need to make a conversation about myself (to an extent). She initiates conversations about herself as well as me an my life sometimes, but a mojority of the time, I focus on her.

 

I hear exactly what you are saying and if that scenario developes bewteen us, I'll be sure to take your advice Thanks so much!

 

Hi Ta ree saw,

 

That's Exactly what I'm doing lol

 

It has been 3 days since I last spoke to her. I plan on going a whole week because I sense we do need a break, but I just LOVE talking to her so I've been reluctent to stop. We just have a bizarre mental connection (think almost exactly alike) and so much in common (odd that we always agree with one another) I've never connected this well with anyone in my life before... she's just so wonderful lol. (kinda feels like I'm a hyper-active little kid with a lot of energy that keeps wanting to play even though the person is tired lol)

 

I'm not trying to date her (don't have those feelings), but maybe the fact that she is everything and more I want in a women a possible fatcor of why I just can't seem to ever get tired of talking to her... she has easily become my best friend even though we only met 3 months ago-

 

Nonetheless, no contact is a GREAT suggestion

 

Thanks for you help and I'll keep you all updated on what happens-

 

So Much Respect-

[renaissancewoman101]

Sometime when people talk to much on too often of a basis, people run out of things to say and taking a break is a good idea. That way you guys dont get tired of each other.

[flyingspaghetti]

SoMuchLove, wow!! Just reading your situation really reminds me of myself in more ways than one. I also find it difficult getting past that "getting to know each other" phase when meeting new people and befriending them. The only people I have been able to get past that stage are co-worker friends, so I see them because we all work there and have to work there unless someone moves jobs. I know that if I wasn't working with any of these particular co-worker friends, I bet our friendship wouldn't be as ongoing as it currently is because the communication/keeping in touch would no longer be as convenient. Other than that, I never get to make it past that stage with classmates or other people I come accross, unfortunately.

 

But anyway... I am also in the same boat with a certain friend of mine. And, this person is NOT a co-worker friend, so this is a toughie. When we first met, we used to talk about 4-5 times per week nearly 14 months ago, but then it's become less and less as the months passed by. Part of it was because I tried to force communication because I, like you, really enjoyed talking and sharing personal stuff with my friend. So we gained some trust and sincerity in that manner. I treasure that.

 

Yeah, as the others have already said, the majority of the "backing off" concepts holds from the suffocation our friends can feel. They may enjoy our presense as individuals, but it does seem quite difficult to maintain that friendship past that "new stage" of the friendship. It is quite easy to feel if we "try" to hold onto a friendship, the better it can become. I know I can easily feel this way to especially people I really want to befriend. That's the test of time, it seems, whether to maintain that or not.

 

I am in the same situation as you. I have to back off some on the constant communication. I know how you feel about enjoying sharing stuff with your friend. It's the same with me very much. Just biting our lips in doing so. Time should heal all wounds in a way, right? Kinda-sorta similar for these situations.