out of the blue

[Peaches25]

After my common in law husband got home from work one day he suddenly said, in a few weeks i am going out for the night to get drunk and what ever, i asked hm why, and who with. He flipped out on me saying i have no right to ask where he will be and who he'll be with.

 

We have a 3yr old son together, and i do everything for both of them -- no help unless i beg. I am tired of this and don't know and understand why this is happening. Can anyone give me advice or just to talk would be nice... i have been through alot with him.

[sisterlynch]

Stay with him until you both figure out what would be best for the child. Sometimes it is with both parents and sometimes it is separated.

[musicchicus]

Sounds like a couple of things...he could be trying to pull away, he could be asserting his manlyhood (arghh) or he could be just a jerk.

 

Regardless, who does he think he is "flipping out" on you. You absolutely have the right to know where he is going and who he is going with...your are essentially married.

 

Being me, I would automatically assume that he is doing something shady on account of his reaction...but he could just be feeling overwhelmed and needing some space. My guess is he is that sort of guy, considering you have had his child and he still hasn't married you.

 

It sounds like you two need to confront these issues you have before its too late. Find a good time and ask him about his behavior - NOTE: I said ask, not confront - don't make him feel like he's been bad...this will only shut him off! And don't accuse!

 

If this goes well, suggest talking to a counseler or something like that. If he flips out again or responds very negatively...be prepared to give him an ultimatum. Make it clear that you will NOT live with him acting this way and that you refuse to accept his cheating.

 

Be prepared to lose him...

 

But remember, just because you too are no longer together does not mean he can't and shouldn't be a part of your son's life!