Are they really friends?

[Chillyfrog]

My boyfriend has done some things to hurt me latley. He told his x online that he missed her and that I was a bitch, then when asked about it he told me he lied to her to get her off his back, His so called friend thats a girl talks shit about me and trys to comfort him, he says hes not friends with her anymore...and then yesterday i asked him why he just dosent make new friends and he saids because you would hate them all...I dont hate them all just two. I dont know any of them and never met any of his firends that are girls..It is making me not trust him and i wanna leave him I think he is sneaky he says he will stop.. but will he..what woud you do?

[tkdmask]

It sounds to me that he is not sincere to your relationship. How did you find out he said that about you to his x? If you caught him or have a reliable source that he has done it, then i would back off. Apparently he wants you for something.... But yet he does not want a social commitment from you the way he makes fun of you, and talks about you behind his back.

 

Think about it for a minitue, does he love you? or is he just saying it?

 

and remember It's hard to face reality when reality has many faces.

 

hope this helps

[crookster_man]

Honesty and communication are pillars of a relationship. Respect is the foundation, which it rests upon. It would appear that your BF is lacking in all three areas. Perhaps he is not mature enough to handle a committed loving relationship?

 

If you have tried talking to him about your issues and he still doesn't anything about it, then maybe it's time to walk away. Chances are he won't change. People rarely change unless they want to. They don't want to unless what they are doing is harming them in some way. Obviously you BF is not being harmed or doesn't really care enough to change. Well that's how it appears.

 

I think you have to do some soul searching. If you are unhappy, then leave. What obligation does you have to stay and remain unhappy?

[Chillyfrog]

I found it on his computer that he said that, he swears he is going to change..sometimes i feel like it is me doing everything beacuse i got upset at him for it, this happen, then with that one girl he said he would leave her alone then the one day i saw he was looking at her profile why does he care if they are just friends i dont understand......its hard for me to leave i have no where else to go

[crookster_man]

Nowhere else to go? What do you mean?

 

As for changing, like I said he won't change if he is getting away with what he is doing. You are unhappy do something about it. It will not change until you

 

A. Break it off and start healing

B. Address the issue and start a resolution.

 

If you choose B, sit him down and don't allow him to leave until you are satisfied. You have to express what you want and expect him to do so. If he fails short you will have to decide if it's an acceptable shortfall or if he is just BSing you again.

[tkdmask]

You sound like a very smart women, if i were you i would start searching for someone else if this keeps persisting. he does not respect you. If he did he would atleast be honest with you. You have us, if you ever need any support emotionally.

 

 

take care