relationship break up

[anthony UK]

Why is it that I can't see anyway forward with life without the girl I have lived with for the last 2 years......I just can't see a end to the misery I feel now. She wants children and I already have 3 with someone else, so its only fair that I let her go so she can follow her dream as she is 44 years old. I love her and feel like just giving up as we have had such a lovely 2 years.

 

I also feel so guilty that for 2 years I held her back from her trying for a child...this makes me cry continuously for her.

 

Can anyone offer me some advise?

[Bethany]

I understand that you have children of your own but what I don't understand is why you don't try for a child together?

[anthony UK]

I understand that you have children of your own but what I don't understand is why you don't try for a child together?

 

thanks for the reply Bethany.......its a good question and one I ask myself, I guess its the guilt I would carry for my other children who are also young. I feel very weak that i can't make this leap but for two years now I have had the opportunity and have not been able to make the jump. Why can i not be like other men I know, they don't get emotional at all about relationships.

[anthony UK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bethany

I understand that you have children of your own but what I don't understand is why you don't try for a child together?

 

 

thanks for the reply Bethany.......its a good question and one I ask myself, I guess its the guilt I would carry for my other children who are also young. I feel very weak that i can't make this leap but for two years now I have had the opportunity and have not been able to make the jump. Why can i not be like other men I know, they don't get emotional at all about relationships.

[Bethany]

It's not weak to hold back and do the right thing, it's weak to having children here, there and everywhere without considering the consequences. I admire your conviction for trying to do the best thing for everyone involved but at the end of the day, this is YOUR life and you must do what you feel deep inside is the right thing for you.

 

I would love to say to you, "Hell, go for it, kids adapt!", but that would be irresponsible of me. But I do think you should listen to your gut feeling on this one.You're holding back for a reason only you know.And only you know ultimately what is best for you and your children and if bringing another child into this world when you are not 100% sure isn't a good idea. It could be a massive regret in the years to come.

 

My advice is to discuss your feelings and thoughts with your new partner and tell her the truth about how you are feeling. Maybe she can crush some of your fears and give you the reassurance you need and things will change.Who knows?

 

But if you still cannot make that jump, be prepared for her to take the decision out of your hands, as her body clock is ticking pretty loudly and she may feel this is her only chance and she may very well set herself free. And if she does, let her go as it wasn't meant to be.

[kookie2004]

what about the tears your wife has cried over you,she has no clue to your cheating,your right you are weak you want it all. the bit of fun and your loyal wife,wait till you have another child it wont all be roses when your up all night with feeding etc.you need to get in the real world tell the truth your wife deserves it after all the years she has given you and your children.