Exploring sexual life

[RensoreK]

I love my girlfriend and friend of many many years, she's very good in bed. I have certain sexual desires and she refuses all of them, its nothing I consider outrageous. Ghings like cumming on her body or anal (I can understand if she didn't like it , I can cope), or finishing when she goes down on me. She also doesn't sometimes become the dominant one, mostly submissive. I love her to death but I have spoken to her about maybe trying new things, and she doesn't like to/want to. I've asked her also to touch herself to turn me on, but she won't. I have the urge to stray but I know its wrong. I have even asked her if she has things she would like done on her and so far I gladly do them for her, I love to satisfy her. What can I do? I dont want to feel like sex is boring because I am still young and I do have a good sexual appetite. Please help

[Cooperstown]

A good sex life is a key to a healthy relationship, what your asking isn't so outrageous. The thing is if she isn't willing to open her mind up a little bit then there will always be that feeling is there something out there I'm missing. Find out why she doesn't want to do those things, talk to her about it. Explain to her that you need and want these things and explain how your feeling. Not that you want to stray, but that you would like to spice things up a bit, I recently tried to convey this same problem to my ex, notice I say my ex. The problem was I couldn't explain things well enough and she didn't want to try. Eventually what will happen is the intimacy in your relationship will fade away completely and you will be left with a sliver of what you once shared.

[orgasmictofu]

Some people are just not that open to trying new things. And that's ok.

 

YOU have to decide if this is a deal breaker for you. Can you live with not doing every single thing you desire with her? Or are you willing to stick it out because you love her otherwise? It's up to you my friend.

[Tigris]

If after your talk she's still not prepared to experiment then it looks like your relationship's over.

 

I've been in a similar situation years ago. I can tell you from experience that unless she compromises the relationship will only get worse.

[lucia]

I agree that you should talk to her about it. But if she refuses do try it doesn't mean the end of your relationship, and it doesn't mean that she won't change her mind. Give her some time, make her feel loved. She needs to feel safe in the relationship and she has to feel that this relationship is special. I'm a girl and that's what I feel.

[Tigris]

Is it possible that she's been abused in her past? If this is the case you maybe asking her to do something that reminds her of it.

 

I do hope I'm wrong about this.

[lucia]

ohhhhh I don't think she was abused in the past. Many girls don't want to do things like that. Maybe she's just scared to try cause it would be her first time.

[OceanEyes]

I can pretty well guarantee you here that you're not 100% ready to be in a serious relationship.

 

And, that's totally FINE.

 

Keep in mind though, that seeking these things outside of your relationship will make you the bad guy. Decide what's more important: being with your girlfriend or having your sexual needs met.