this friday marks a significant day.

[deejay74]

this friday is going to be a very interesting day for me.

 

it will mark exactly 3 months since the break up which is also half the duration of our relationship.

 

it marks exactly 3 weeks since NC started (again) and i have not been able to go longer than that. the last interaction totally backfired on me and now i have no idea if my ex hates me or if i'll ever see or speak to her again. i'm hoping that after i get over this "hump", it'll be better.

 

i am also moving to brooklyn that day, so i won't have access to my computer or the internet so if i am feeling kind of down, i won't be able to come here for support. this also means i am leaving all the good memories i have of my ex behind, which is very bittersweet. and ironically, i will be living only 2.2 miles from her (i looked it up on googlemaps, LOL!).

 

this week has been an up-and-down week as well, but i have been trying to cope the best i can. it seems that me missing the good things have slightly increased this week b/c of what this friday signifies.

 

i'm still kind of seeing that girl, she's mellowed out a bit with the being attention hungry and now that i am moving, i'll be even farther away.

 

i've been doing some really hard thinking and have *almost* come to the conclusion that i may want to be totally alone and not have to deal with females in any romantic way. i've never done this in my life before. those times i had been alone were not by choice, but now, i have a choice on whether i want to or not.

 

my only frustration that i have left over from the break up is i still, after 3 months since being dumped and being treated like sh*t, miss my ex and i have not gone a single day w/o thinking about it. even though i have been seeing another girl.

 

once again, thanks for listening/reading - it feels good to get this out.

[SilverCloud]

I think the idea of alone time is good. I am currently doing that too, by choice not looking for anyone or going on dates to find myself.

I had totally forgotten how much fun i am and what my strenghts were.

I wish that you also find the serenity that comes with being alone by choice...

[becallamjr]

HEY

 

TRY

 

BEING

 

SINGLE

 

FOR

 

A

 

YEAR!!!!

 

It would probably be therapeutic for you.

[RayKay]

I think being alone is a good idea for a while, it sounds like you are definitely not quite ready to be dating again, and I think that would hurt you and any potential partners in the long run.

 

Don't be so hard on yourself, it can take months or longer to heal, not everyone is on the same timeline. But bit by bit it happens, and one day you will realize, wow, I have not thought of my ex for a whole day! Then it will be two, three, then you will think of them, but then go another week without....and one day, you will know you are just fine.

[southerngirl]

HEY

 

TRY

 

BEING

 

SINGLE

 

FOR

 

A

 

YEAR!!!!

 

It would probably be therapeutic for you.

 

Good advice!

[deejay74]

HEY

 

TRY

 

BEING

 

SINGLE

 

FOR

 

A

 

YEAR!!!!

 

It would probably be therapeutic for you.

 

 

i was single for 5 years before i went out with my ex. i did date here and there and had a lot of "hook ups" but i was always looking for a relationship. none of the girls i were involved with during that time either didn't want me as a bf or i didn't want them as a gf. i was definitely in a different frame of mind compared to now, after i got dumped.

 

so, now, since it will be my choice not to get involved, i think it would be therapeutic. we'll see, i have some thinking to do...

[deejay74]

i have almost packed everything up in my room tonight and i thought i was going to be alright.

 

as i look around my empty room, i start to feel kind of sad. i mean, i guess i am ok but i feel a little stupid and weak for feeling this way.

 

i am happy that i am moving but having all these boxes around me with all my things boxed up really feels like i'm closing a chapter (albeit a short one) in my life. sorry to sound so dramatic.

 

damn, i just want to be over this already! this really gets frustrating sometimes...

[possibiliti]

Totally understand how you are feeling right now. It is human to feel like this. I felt the same when I have to move out of the place we shared many years. Sigh...I know it is sad at this moment. Just try not to think too much and keep moving. Tomorrow is another day. Everything will be better.

[deejay74]

so this is it!! all my stuff is packed and i am ready to move tomorrow morning.

 

surprisingly, at this very moment, i am feeling mostly excited and happy to move. of course i can't help thinking about the times i spent here with my ex but this bedroom is also where i got dumped - the only "bad" memory i have of my ex here.

 

i did find something while cleaning - it was a ticket to ellis island; my ex and i went there back in october and it made me feel a little nostalgic but with a bit of sadness. that stub is insignificant in the big scheme of things but it made me think.

 

wow, how these past 3 months have been! i still sometimes can't believe my ex dumped me when i think about it. as i said before, i miss the good times and the good things about her but i am still progressing in my recovery. i am just glad i haven't had any major relapses in a long time.

 

my computer is obviously not packed up just yet, i think i will do it just before i go to sleep. i only hope i don't drift off to sleep reminiscing about me and my ex spending time here. her last night here with me was christmas... aw man, i am getting all bummed just thinking about it.

 

i'm still not fully recovered yet, but i think i am more than half way there and i have to thank everyone who's helped me and who's responded to my posts. this site has been a blessing, and sometimes a curse, but mostly a blessing.

 

i don't know when i will get my computer hooked up again, it may be for a few days, or it could be tomorrow, but whenever it is, i'll be back on here reading, or posting.

 

i'm also feeling kind of like i did when i moved from dc to nyc - i was excited to move to a new city, scared because i didn't know what to expect, but also sad because i was leaving the comfort and familiarity of my home and hometown behind. (not only that but i was leaving my family).

 

so anyway, until next time...

[deejay74]

i am moved! yay!

 

yesterday wasn't all that bad actually. i was so busy moving and unpacking that i didn't really have time to think about much except the work in front of me. i haven't been so focused on something since the break up, even when i was at work.

 

i did get a little nostalgic when i left my old apartment, but not as bas as i thought it would've been. mostly i was just thinking about all the good times i had there and a little bit of my ex and me.

 

i'm happy that i had a lot of work to do yesterday because i think i would've been dwelling on the past with my ex since it marked such a significant day for me healing wise.

 

as i mentioned before, i usually couldn't go more than 3 weeks without breaking NC and i am feeling the withdrawal today. that's the only really nagging thing i am feeling besides the usual (occasionally thinking about the good times and missing her), but it seems manageable.

 

my only wish is that i don't continue to miss or think about my ex when it gets to the point where we've been apart longer than when we were together. i know people heal at different speeds but by then, i hope to be completely healed.