Talking with a girl with emotional baggage?

[comets_21]

Hi lately I am getting extremely frustrated. I am talking with a girl that I really like. She has all the qualities I look for in a girl. The problem is she is very confusing. One minute it seems as though she likes me and another she blows me off. I have a feeling she is not over her last boyfriend. She was in a long relationship. It seems as though she likes me but is unsure if she really wants to get involved with me. Thats may explain why I get the signs that she is not interested. I do not want to get walked all over by this girl. When I get frustrated and start not to care about her she shows more interest. This is a tough for me. Do you think I should forget about her and wait for someone that is really into me or give her time to become really interested?

[FCTex]

If she comes after you when you pull away and become frustrated, and show a lack of intrest, then thats not really emotional baggage.

 

While she might not be over her last relationship, you need to keep in mind that our past shapes our futures. If you really want to have a relationship with her, I think you might need to have an honest heart-to-heart with her. Tell her what you want from it all, or simply show her. While she might pull away when you give, and you pull away and she gives, and it feels like a childish game, it's just human nature.

 

We want what we readily can't have, and while thats natural, she and you both need to be open I believe.

 

If you care for her enough, I don't see why giving her time and working on things wouldn't be a bad idea. If your impatient, and don't see waiting for someone who you feel isn't worth your time, then move on.

[suprema99]

She seems pretty much brainwashed by her ex. So it's up to you whether you want to decide to hang in there and try to unbrainwash her. Like you said an option is to move on and simply meet a girl who's into you. It's all up to you and your goals and how much you really want to spend time on her. The obvious choice is to move on, but be prepared for the worst. It's a nasty battle. Cause you'll get upsets and induendo's all the time of the past dude. She's been brainwashed, by everything. You obviously will try to brainwash her yourself. Poor girl, the hole that she loved your thinking, is just that, and your stuck in all that baggage. Your gold once I think she's completley over the other dude. If you wanna stay around for that, it's a decision you have to make.

[comets_21]

Thanks for the advice. FCTEX, I would love to be open with her but I think that might take some more time. The reason I wrote this is because tonight she called me and we talked for awhile. She told me innocently that she was going to her ex's house to drop off some stuff she borrowed. I asked if she was just dropping the stuff off or hanging out and she didn't give me a clear answer... I am assuming she will hang out with him for alittle. She is obviously not ready to be truly with me. I will wait and see how and where things go with us because I really like this girl. I'm hoping I will get some signs that she is in fact interested dating me. I was told by a mutual friend that she did want to date me but I asked him when he heard that and he said about a month ago. I am not going to take things too seriously with her right now. I hate dating games but I am also tired of not having the upper hand in relationships. I told her I might call her tomorrow to meet up. I do not think I am going to call... I can't be that available to her, that is how I got hurt in my last relationship. I would love to hear any more advice.