dating in an urban environment

[sfboi415]

Where or what are the best opportunities to date people in a big city if you DON'T go on speed-date events, don't have alot of friends, and don't go online to Myspace/Craigslist/eHarmony?

[Msnak]

Well, aside from going to: bars, sporting events, museums, the subway station, grocery stores, bookstores, jazz clubs, lounges, church, or volunteering opportunities...I don't know!

 

Maybe take up a hobby and increase the size of your social circle?

[keenan]

you're in the bay area, yes? i don't know about dating people, per se, but for meeting people you have lots of options. off the top of my head: university courses (day or evening), museum/symphony/ballet/art museum weekend 'workshops' or classes for the public, outdoor adventure groups (kayaking, hiking, biking, rock climbing, sailing), book clubs, book readings at bookstores, live music shows (clubs, concerts, or festivals), random meals in restaurants while sitting at the counter, not a table (especially brunch), dog parks (uh...bring a dog), walking the beach, wine tasting events, cigar bars, etc. etc. grab a hobby or a budding interest, and run with it.

[wlfpack81]

Deleted by user

[sfboi415]

I know, but in the city people literally treat each other as strangers..unless you've been in their prescense for X amount of months or years. They'll be friendly to you but I noticed that there are girls who DON'T want guys to get to know them better..in class or in a social activity. Maybe not everyone is like this, but people tend to connect with and date amongst the people they've already known from family friends, their neighborhood, or friends that they grew up with. My problem is that I haven't been able to prove to these girls that I'm a safe, yet interesting guy to get to know. I mentioned the word safe because I honestly don't believe women are comfortable around me and I'm trying to determine if it's my personality or the way that I look or talk.

 

For example, I participated in a performance group and the time spent with the group lasted for 5 months. I got along friendly with a girl there and even though we didn't talk alot, we still got along well. After our final performance, I lost contact with her (and the others which was a mistake) saw her again at a street festival months later and tried to strike up a conversation. Not surprisingly she acted like I was a total stranger and from that point on I never heard from her again. I don't know why she acted like that but if things had turned around..her and I could've become good friends and I'd go to her parties and social events and eventually the opportunity to date again would exist. I know this is possible because I overheard my co-worker talk to one of his female friends about "getting hooked up with So-and-so at Saturday's party". But since she treated me no different than she did any other stranger in the city, that "golden opportunity does not exist, and now I have to repeat the same process again. Don't get me wrong; I don't latch on to people like a leech but I feel that my chances for dating will increase if I can somehow get along really well with the people who can either allow or prevent a stranger to enter their social circles.