Is love predestined or not???

[butterflycloud]

Is finding that specail partner predestined or do you have to be physically proactive in the serach for a new love?

 

I have been looking for someone for a while but havnt found anyone so Im beginning to believe that no matter what you do or dont do, that special someone is only going to present themselves to you when the time is right.

 

What do you think or what has your experience been?

[bcuzitwasfun]

Hi butterflycloud

 

I think that we are all physically proactive looking for someone to share our lives with. However, I think that love presents its self when the time is right. I have found from this site and my experiences that love can happen no matter what the situation is.

 

I was in love with my ex wife and she fell in love with someone else and out of love with me.

 

That is what I find so hard to understand. Love is all or nothing for me. Sure, while we were married I had plenty of chances based on physical attractions to have an affair, but I didn't because I was in love with my wife.

 

I believe without a mental bond, there is no love and we all are attracted to somebody based on physical appearance. Of course how can you find the mental bond unless you make the move, or accept the move?

 

Thanks

bcuzitwasfun

[Giggles]

dont think like that, oneday, u'll find your special someone, you might not believe this, but i did, just randomly out of the blue and now i'm so happy

prehaps stop trying to find that person and just live for a change, and hey, you never know, they might find you ;-)

[butterflycloud]

thanks giggles

 

I guess that Im just a bit dispondent as I was hoping that I would have met him by now! But I guess that patience is a virtue that I have to learn

[friscodj]

This is a really tough question! You are basically asking if we believe in destiny?

 

Well, this is how I see it. You have an idea of what traits you want and don't want in a partner, keep yourself open to possibilities for new relationships with new people, you live your life, and when you do get into a relationship, you try your best. That's all you can ask of anyone. Beyond that...I believe firmly if it is meant to be, it will. So some of it is under your control, some of it isn't...

[LiquidCherry]

You will only fall in love if the timing is right. And by that I don't mean fate, I mean you have to be open to new love and sometimes getting to that point can take a lot of work. Even if the right person comes along if you are not ready for it love just won't happen. Luckily I believe there is more than one right person so all is not lost. Waiting for love can take a lot of patience. It was 6 years for me, it's more or less than others but always worth it in the end.

[butterflycloud]

how do you make yourself ready for love?

[LiquidCherry]

You have to be emotionally ready is what I mean. Often when people have been hurt in a previous relationship they are not ready to love again until they have healed. Other times it is stressful situations (school, family, health, etc) that can make people closed to love at the moment. Being ready for love means being able to accept love and give it in return. It also means being content without it.

[Orlander]

I was in a relationship last June but was unhappy. I was content with being with someone who loved me a great deal. She made me feel good about myself and we had a very strong bond, but I was not in love with her and overall, I was ungrateful, unmotivated, uninvolved and unhappy with life.

 

It was around my birthday that I had a minor breakdown and cried because I was directionless and unhappy. I prayed to God that things would change.

 

Well, they did. My girlfriend broke up with me and it has been an extremely difficult time in my life. But, I now have focus back on those things in my life that I needed to work on and am free to do just that. I am grateful, more so than I ever have been for life and am much more passionate (albeit also still in a lot of pain). I also now have the opportunity to find the woman of my dreams and my soulmate. For the first time in my life I feel unafraid of falling in love.

 

So, for me, it is predestined. We make the life we want for ourselves. We got hurt, but often times we either set ourselves up to get hurt or we ignore the signs that lead up to it. I'm positive that my breakup was a gift and a birthday prayer answered.

 

 

Orlander