so she's being pretty forward

[Mr. Nice]

Well, I'm in a sort of unexpected situation here, since this is my fourth year of college and I've barely dated at all so far. I met a really cool girl in one of my classes this semester, and we got along well right away. I've been out with her for coffee and we ran into each other and had lunch together at school once. I really like hanging out with her and just talking, but she has come on pretty strong a couple of times, even suggesting recently that we get drunk together. Now, she might just be joking around with me, but I take this as a pretty direct physical come-on. (She's still 20, so she's not talking about going to a bar here or something). She is very, very attractive, but I need to spend some more casual time with her before jumping in to something like this, and if/when I do ask her over to my apartment, I don't know if it should go past kissing on the first visit. I'm not particularly conservative about sex, I just need a certain amout of time to get comfortable with a person, and don't want this to turn into just a physical thing from the beginning. So, how do I show that I'm interested but need to take it slow for now? Would a dinner date be a good idea, or is that too boring and conventional? Am I just totally flattering myself?

[Mrocza]

You're so sweet The world is lacking nice, respectable guys like you.

 

Now she might be joking, and even if she's not, she might not be insinuating sex.

 

If you don't feel comfortable inviting her to your place, then don't. Ask her out to dinner and if things go well from there, eventually when the time is right, it can move forward.

[tmp0620]

Well hey, you've got a lot more experience than I do if you've been dating at all in college, but if it were me, I'd invite her to my apartment and get drunk (if I didn't live with my parents...). I'm of the opinion that the physical and emotional/mental part of a relationship can coexist peacefully from the beginning of a relationship. If you are both comfortable with going further than kissing when/if she comes to your apartment then I wouldn't think there's anything wrong with that. But to answer your question more directly, if you don't want it to get physical and you think that it might if you both get drunk at ur apartment then go do something interesting somewhere else...

 

BUT if you're both into each other emotionally and physically what's wrong with getting physical early on? I don't see a problem there.

[ocrob]

I think you should go out with her and have fun. You don't have to have sex and if she wants it, then just tell her what you told us. She will either respect it or you will see her true colors. It does not seem like many women just want to have sex. She probably likes you and will respect you for not wanting sex. If she is just looking for sex, then you have to decide if that would be something you want. If not, then just don't do it.

[Mr. Nice]

Thanks for all the replies. Had dinner with her and she said she wants to keep hanging out in the future, so I'm a happy man