I feel so isolated!

[mnsprob]

I've been shy most my life but I've been making strides in trying to overcome it, but as of late I feel like im losing hope. Im a OT student and my future work requires me to interact with a lot of people. I've tried opening up to people and started to say hi to almost everyone I encounter however I've realized that at some point people (my classmates) would eventually grow tired of me saying hi all the time but not conversing with them. I do make small talk sometimes but usually lasts about 2 mins then i would start to feel uncomfortable and I feel like other people would sense it. I really want to change but its just simply too hard when you're shy. I feel left out when everyone has someone to talk to but not me. If and when I do get in a group setting I end up not knowing what to say, so I feel left out again and I dont want to come out as stuck up when I dont talk to anyone. I feel so isolated right now and I don't have a lot of friends either that I can talk to.....Please guys.....I need some advice

[BlueWolf]

Hey, don't focuse on the bad. Focus on how to improve it. Forget that you're isolated (or so you think). Focus on how you can help yourself. I have to say that I used to be like this. I also have to say that it's a great thing that your job will require lots of contact with other people. That's good, because it's a great way to overcome shyness.

Welcome to the site, by the way. You can get lots of advice from this great site.

[troublegal05]

Wow...I'm in a similar situation and I can really relate to how you feel...I'm an extreemly shy person...Sometimes I find it really hard to even look someone in the eye, and I am constantly looking down at the ground, thinking everyone is looking at me! and then I feel embarrased and flush...but what has really helped me to try and get out of my shell is forcing myself to look up at make eye contact with people. I know it might be really really hard but try it, it really does help...Also you should just try talking to some people around you...I too am trying to do this as well and what i've found helpful is if you ask questions about them...Start off with simple questions like How was your day?, How do you like this class? Did you do the homwork? ...Try introducing yourself to others around you who may be in a similar class as you..I know how difficult it can be to communicate with people, but what i've discovered is that people are generally nice and understanding. I also know that it may be easier said than done, because I too am still stuggling with my shyness. I am a current student as well majoring in journalism which has really required me to re-acess myself and my weakness of being really shy. All I can say is force yourself to overcome your fear, dont let being shy take over the person you want to become...I know i've been down that road before and it wasnt pleasant...So i hope you find my words to be helpful and I wish you luck with overcoming your shyness...

[mnsprob]

thanks for your replies guys i feel better already know someone have been through this....Its really hard to overcome something that's wired to your brain since childhood. There are days when I really feel good and talk to people but its just frustrating how I couldnt keep a conversation rolling since my shyness all of a sudden pops back again and I suddenly feel that I'm beeing observed and judged. i know its all im my head..people have been (surprisingly) nice to me. some would just come up and ask me how my day was or give me a handshake or smile, but I think i have some trust issues with people since my childhood has been traumatic. my parents separated and i had a bad relationship with my step mom. my family was also dysfuntional and up to now i dont have good relationships with them....its not my fault tho since i was a child when i last talked to them. but its these things in the past that creeps back and haunt me or prevent me from trusting people....at least thats my understanding of my behavior. It really sux when everyone around you is friendly but for some reason your head FEARS them and its just not right.

[stolenshadow]

Hello, we shy people always do feel judged, and we feel things we said make no sense/were silly etc. it helps to remember "the others" are just people like you, they have things going on in their heads and are not likely to read as much into you as you do yourself.

 

As troublegal05 said, you can start conversations by making questions, add your own thoughts, don't tell yourself what you said wasn't right just say it, don't listen to your fears, and no matter how many times you think you're doing things wrong don't stop, and be honest with the things you express, there's no need to repeat what others say, be yourself and keep going.

[Caldus]

Don't worry man, I'm going through the same thing. Slowly but surely I will overcome it. The idea here though is to find those who have similar interests as you. It makes for much better conversations usually. Try finding clubs you're interested in.