Strange situation...

[Janim7]

I will try and make this short...

 

I came out of a long-term relationship in Novemebr and I have recently got in touch with a lot of old friends. One being someone I have always thought a lot about and we have been texting a lot and "seem" to be thinking the same things about each other.

 

I went to stay with him last week and yes we slept together, which was great. But I really think so much of him, really really like him, always have. Now I am back home and wondering whether I should have moved things so fast or made him wait? We both dont seem to want to admit our feelings, scared to break down the barriers maybe!

 

I have sent him a message tonight saying "are you ever going to let me know how you feel about me, even if its bad, or will i have to wonder forever?"... which he hasnt replied to.

 

I want to stop texting him... I dont want to seem too keen but I dont want him to think I'm not interested and only wanted him for sex, does that make sense?

 

I just wish he would let me know his feelings, then I would know one way or the other. Do you think I should ask him if he is worried he will hurt my feelings? Surely if he didnt want to have anything to do with me he would tell me... ?! We are planning to go on holiday in May but its killin me not knowin if he just wants to be friends or not...

 

Whats anyones advice?

 

He has always been and will always be special to me.

[ratherbesailing]

Janim -

 

You've got to be patient with guys and the way we voice our feelings. Give him some time to come up with the words and judge more by how he acts in the beginning. If he treats you like he cares then I'm sure he does. If you have plans for May, that's a pretty long term commitment for a guy so I think you're on the right track. Putting too much pressure on him to profess his love may scare him.

[ocrob]

Also, make sure he is asking you for plans and contacting you. If you call too much or ask for plans, this could turn him away. If you are not always available, then you will be more attractive to him. I am not saying to play games, but don't be too available. If he wants to see you, then he should give you notice. Most guys that like someone are pretty persistent.

[Janim7]

Thank you for your advice. This situation is really frustrating me. Because we were always such good friends and we have only seen each other for a week, he lives a while away from me, I dont want anything serious. I just dont understand why things have changed so much...

 

Before we met up and I stayed with him he was texting me around 10 times a day on average, plus a couple of calls, just general how are you's, chit-chat etcetc. And him telling me how much he has missed me, that he willl always be there for me no matter what...

 

Since I have been to see him, even though the day I left he said he was still up for going on holiday together and that I could go and stay with him whenever I wanted, he has hardly been texting. I had to ask him yesterday if I had left some jeans at his, to which he replied straight away "Yeah I found them the other day sweetheart". So I txt him back later saying "Just wondering how I could get my jeans back? And hows u anyway? Been quieter since I've been up to see u... should I take that as a hint? ;o)" ... to which he hasnt replied.

 

If he hadnt of been in contact with me on a daily basis before I saw him I wouldnt think this was strange, as I sometimes take a few days to get back to people... but its such a big change in how he is acting... I want him to realise that I am feeling completely used, but dont want to get in touch with him again until he contacts me, and even then I might wait to get back to him...

 

If he was to tell me he regrets everything happening, or tell me he isnt interested in me that way... then at least I would know! Its the not knowing thats killin me..... it all just seems strange because we have always been such good friends and he has such a caring nature about him, even if it comes accross in a jokey way.

 

Any more advice?!?! lol