Why would she be flirting if she's not interested anymore?

[tomservo]

So, the flirting thing. I have a friend who used to flirt with me constantly. I mean it was shameless and so obvious. I'd flirt back a little in my own way (ie. just really making her laugh).

 

Anyway, it was obvious that there was more going on than just friendship and she revealed her feelings to me in a really sweet e-mail. Being the (extremely) shy guy that I am, I had trouble telling her how I felt and basically our potential relationship kind of fizzled out and she just wanted to remain friends.

 

I took it really hard and got really whiny and pouty (her words) and said some stupid and kind of mean things to her over the course of a few months. I made the mistake of asking her a few times if there was ever a chance of things working out and she said no. She told me that I stopped being the "old me". Some days though, it was like the old days. We flirted a lot and I could still make her laugh as hard as before. I've told her that when she flirts with me it confuses me, but she would still keep on.

 

My question is, if a girl has told you that there is no chance, yet she still flirts with you and obviously is still attracted to you and tells you to be the "old you" again, does that mean she might still interested in a relationship? I know sometimes flirting is just flirting, but * * *? She's kind of naturally flirty, but she knows how I feel.

 

I know I'm kind of hijacking this flirting thread with my whiny story, but I'd really like to know if I'm right or if I'm just grasping at straws.

[BlueWolf]

Hmm, it can go both ways I guess. Words are words and actions are actions. But with flirting, you never know. Is she like that with other people?

[tomservo]

She's like that with guys she's interested in I guess. We worked together for over two years and I never saw her flirt with other guys like that though. And it's not like she's been flirting like that consistently since our "breakup". It mainly happens when I'm in a good mood and not acting bitter or angry. I don't know if she thinks that the flirting is what our friendship is supposed to be like, or if she is still interested in me romantically and wants me to stop being bitter and just be happy again. I mean, she has said that, but I don't know if it's for the sake of the friendship or for other reasons. (Hope that made sense)

 

I still feel like she is attracted to me due to some of her actions, but going by her words, she's not interested in anything other than friendship. I realize that you can be attracted to someone and still not want to be in a relationship with them though.