you know.. I don't even know where to post this...

[NJRon]

You guys have helped me out so much. Being able to post about my own experiences, with no judgement, has helped me vent a lot of things while also assisting others.

 

This is my first starter post. I lived with a woman and her daughter... for about two plus years. I loved them. I still love them. During our relationship, I became depressed, over my job. I know that, looking objectively at it, it shouldn't matter. I started using alcohol to avoid my pain... this was *not* a new thing... I have self medicated as long as I know.

 

Anyway, this woman has moved away from me. She has gone to a place that, though I would love to be, I cannot earn a living. I miss her. I miss her child. I miss the relationship I was forming with her child. Most of all, I miss "us"!

 

I stopped using alcohol. Of course.. after they left... whoop-te-doo

 

I spoke with her on the phone tonight. She confirmed a lot of my feelings and then asked me if I had been drinking... she said she didn't care per se, she just wanted to know if the feelings were genuine. No, I hadn't been drinking. I was so emotional though, I might as well have been.

 

Gah... I don't know if I have a question. I just want to vent. Someone kick me in the head. I love this woman and I *really* don't know if I want that to stop or not. Just kick me while I figure that out

[healinginnyc81]

I'm sorry, I won't kick you in the head. I'm sorry you feel down now but I hope you feel better.

 

Give yourself more credit for not using alcohol. That's a great achievement.

 

You're a great guy and you've helped me out with great advice. I wish I had some great advice to give you but all I can say is that you seem to have moved on really well and it's probably just a minor setback.

[butterflycloud]

What was the real reason for her leaving, was it just your drinking or were there other complications?

[Pikey1972]

NJRon, did she initiate contact, or did you call her?

 

Feel free to post here any time - we're here for you. And as bkjsun said, it's great that you're not touching the alcohol: keep it going.

 

All the best

[NJRon]

butterfly - oh, there were many reasons other than that. In fact, I don't think the drinking was really one of her major issues. It's just something that I needed to do for myself (quitting that is). It more revolved around her wanting to be independent and on her own.

 

Pikey - Hehe, I was the idiot that called her Ah well. The conversation actually turned out well. In the end, she sent me an email saying that she did love me, but she had things to do for herself that don't involve me.

 

A very valid response. So... I'm dropping it. It's nice to know though, that somewhere out there, there is someone that cares about me. It's just a shame that we can't be together.

 

*sigh* moving on

[deejay74]

hey njron, i just wanted you to know you are a strong person. giving up alcohol is difficult especially if you were in the habit of drinking. i have been there before as well.

 

the advice you give on here is valuable too. i always enjoyed reading your responses and thanks for responding to my posts.

 

i know it's hard, but from what i know about you through reading your posts, i know you'll be alright. i hope reading this gives you some more strength to get through it.

[NJRon]

Thank iwantherback... on all counts. I'm feeling much better now.