Im so confused

[G xx]

Please help !!!!!

I have been with my boyfriend for a year, after 2 weeks he told me he loved me and after about 4 months he was asking me to move in, we just clicked as soon as we met, and were totally honest about our past and everything so we started a new relationship with all the skeletons out of the closet it was great, hed get jealous when other men looked at me, but would always proudly put his arm round me as if to say he shes mine whixh i secretly loved because i loved being his !

we went through bit of a rough patch the last few months but before that things were perfect, we went out together all the time, and just loved spending time together because we just made each other happy !!

then about 2 months ago we just started to argue over nothing, i couldnt do anything right, i was trying to pay off bills so wasnt going out with my friends as much and would never tell my boyfriend to stay in, he had worked all week so i wanted him to go out and have a good time.

Things just went really weird, we seemed to grow apart, we stopped seeing each other as much and i kept saying we need to sort this out before it gets to the point of no return and he always just wanted to forget about it and move on from it !!

we had a big talk and got everything out in the open, and everything was fine - we were like we used to be, always laughing and smiling when we thought of each other.

we split up about a week ago, he said it felt "fake" i said it probably feels like that because we are actually being nice to each other again and he said he doesnt think he will be able to feel the way he used to and that was the end of it !!

he came round to my house and sobbed his heart out last week (which i might add was the first time in a long time i'd seen his emotions) he kept hugging me and wouldnt let go, it was so upsetting and made me realise just how much i do love him, but now its to late !!

weve been txting each ther most days just to see how each other is, its just so hard with it being xmas too, im miserable and even though i dont want to spoil xmas for my family i just want it to come and go without the fuss, i cant believe im actually saying this because i usually LOVE xmas but now it will just remind me of the time i lost my true love, and my heart was broken !

 

[michelemybell]

Hi Gxx,

I'm sorry you are going through this.

I wish that a relationship could always be like it is during the beginning. But, of course, everything grows and changes. It seems like your boyfriend is having trouble dealing with those changes. And, the honeymoon stage is a great distraction, but once the newness of the relationship ends, some people miss the distraction and are left with dealing with themselves again and the problems of everyday life. This may be what your boyfriend is dealing with.

I think the best thing you could do is give him space (like it seems you are) and be patient. Get busy and find distractions so you dont dwell on things with him. He will either decide to weather these difficult times with you , or leave. If he doesn't want to stay in the relationship, then it is more of a reflection on him and his ability to grow and change in a relationship. Dont take it personally.

If the holidays are getting you down, realize you're not alone and remember, that people make more of a big deal about these days than what they're really worth. Watch some movies, do a project, draw, etc.

Hope I made sense, and I hope you feel better!

[kere]

hey gxx,

 

Breakups are hard especially aroung the holidays when its all about love blah blah blah....I am going through some mess myself right now and even though we haven't broken up yet, that is where we are headed.

 

I figure, try to get through the holidays and then deal with the emotions that comes with the end of a relationship. I stay distracted by focusing on my family and not spoiling the mood. But I hear you when u say u feel miserable.....all I want to do is close my eyes and go back to the time when we were happy but I cannot do that so I have to find a way to deal with it and pray that I get over it soon.....so happy holidays and take it one day at a time.