i have this problem you see

[hcochick]

well me and my bf are sexually active. and well he has a problem with premature ejaculation. he lasts from maybe 3 minutes to less then 1. this is a serious problem for me. but i want to help. any suggestions?

[melrich]

How old is he? How experienced?

 

If it is a well established problem there are professionals specialising in treatment.

 

There are also sprays you can purchase which de-sensitise. I am not sure where you would get these where you live.

[hcochick]

hes 19, and im the second girl he has been with. but we've been together almost 4 months, and the one before he had been having sex with for like 6 months.

[LostInMyThoughts]

Performance in the bed is an area that people can be really sensitive about so be careful how you approach this subject.

 

What about him going early bothers you?

 

Does he just pass out after it happens or does he try to continue with you?

 

Do you engage inforeplay or just go straight for intercourse?

 

If you don't engage in foreplay, or after he's gone, he "falls asleep" the problem is less him going early, and more that he's not being a "giving" lover.

 

Those are much easier to deal with I think, because these are things he can easily address.

[hcochick]

its the fact that i dont get anything out of it. its not like im being selfish or anything, but thats pretty much how it works. and sometimes there is more foreplay then other times. sometimes he goes before its even in me. like right when hes about to put it in. we have discussed the issue, and he is willing to try options. but im not sure what the best option would be.

[rionmccloud]

All I can suggest is medical treatment. I don't think there's much of anything that can be done otherwise. That does suck, but at least he's willing to try and do something about it.

[hcochick]

do you think that spray or whatever it is that makes it less sensitive, will work at all?

[7CardStud]

With a condom on too?

 

I know I can't even orgasm with a condom on, so maybe that will work.

 

If he does already have a condom on... Maybe get him there before hand, then later have sex.

[hcochick]

we have with and without a condom. we have done it once then maybe 15 minutes later done it again. he only lasts for maybe 20 seconds longer. its pretty frustrating.

[talo]

A man often needs to learn to 'slow down' and not get himself 'overheated'. Sounds like you need to talk with him seriously about what 'puts him off' or 'slows him down' and what your needs are. If he really cares for you he will be very interested in pleasing you and exciting you and if this means slowing himself down, then that is part of it. In many ways a relationship at all times is 'team work' and intimate sensitivity to 'how the other is going'.