What's this all about??????

[baffled uk]

I went out with a girl 20 years ago, we split up after 2 years but had made one of those 'special connections' and both knew we'd end up together. We've always been friends, yet don't see each that often, and have never really dicussed our plans to be together...until recently...oh boy.

 

Out of the blue she says she wants us to get married move to scotland (which we both love) and have kids, she has always loved me etc.. A mind blower, I thought I'd always have to tell her all this. I was overjoyed obviously as it was exactly what I wanted, 4 days after this she says she can't do relationships, the whole thing is off, maybe another time.

 

She is strongly independent, has a 17 yr old daughter, and seems to think all men are b******ds. She is quite selfish, shows few emotions, no feelings and no sympathy. Yet I know inside her feelings are screaming to get out, she showed how tender she could be whilst explaining to me what she wanted for us. Yes she knows how much I love her, I've offered her everything a woman could want, believe me.

 

What's the dual personality thing all about? Did she scare herself?

She carrys on as if nothing has happened, doesn't she realise how much damage she's done? How the hell do I get through this hard shell thing she hides behind?

 

Should I just wait?

 

Ring a bell with anyone? I thought the guy was hard to get to commit?

 

Thanks for any replies.

[ratherbesailing]

Baffled -

 

If you guys haven't been together for 18 years and went from that to now talking marriage then you should both be scared. Call her and tell her that maybe you should try things out starting slow, while you get to know each other again. Give her and yourself some time. Give the 17 year old daughter some time, she may have had a reaction to mom's plan and been part of the reason for backing off.

 

Don't wait, just slow it down and things might still work out fine. If you try to jump right into running away together and getting married right away, it may never come together and even if it does she may panic after the fact.

[Mun]

Hmm It sounds to me as if she got carried away with the plans she had for you both and caught herself being more impulsive than she'd like. Of course, I don't know her, so I could be wrong here. That hard shell she has might have something to do with being hurt before---so does the nasty opinion she has of men---so you have your work cut out for you. You can't exactly do the whole "running into the sunset" thing before you back up with actions what you have already told her You are true blue and will be there through thick and thin ( She needs to know this)...Make this one offer she can't refuse and her dreams might come back again. Scotland sounds heavenly.

[hk87]

Scotland is heaven ;-) Not that I'm biased ofcourse!

 

Hk87