Need feedback..

[emma34]

My boyfriend is going through a very stressful period in his life right now, and is starting to act very weird. I've been very understanding of him lately, more than I ever thought I could...but the boy has been driving me up the wall. What specifically bothered me was an incident on Sunday night. He's never really been a drinker, but on Sunday for some reason he did. The thing was, it was just the two of us...I wasn't drinking, and he only had one drink in front of me - but what I found so weird was we would be hanging out and he would LEAVE to have a drink...he wouldn't tell me...like he thought I didn't know he was doing it - like he was hiding it. We had planned to go to evening church around 6, and about 5:30 we got ready and I drove. at this point I thought he had maybe a few drinks in the afternoon, but he confessed to me that he was actually DRUNK. He seemed very ashamed in himself and I have NO IDEA what was going on - this was soo out of character, why would he do this?? I of course turned around and went home, very angry...angry that we were on our way to CHURCH, and I know he is a good Christian and I don't know WHY he would do that..He confessed to me that he had a drinking problem before he met me, had went to AA, etc. He even called his dad to talk, because he was so upset that he had gotten drunk. I was in a little bit of shock. the more time I spent with him that evening, it started to show how drunk he was...getting angry, then crying..very bizarre. He was like 'do you still want to be with me? How could you? You don't want to be with me? I understand...' without me even getting a word in!! Why would I leave him? I love him, and I told him that, but I just don't know where his head was. Anyway, getting to my point. the next day after a long sleep everything was back to normal when he sobered up. He told me that he really never did go to AA, and then his "drinking problem" never went much farther than he likes to drink when hes really stressed out - which isn't very often. He said he was sorry for lieing, and that he feels it was his way of reaching out to me for attention as well as pushing me away, because he wished he COULD deal with his stresses right now independently, but also needs me. I've been understanding about this, as well as portraying my disappointment..but I don't really know if I'm doing it right. I don't understand why someone would lie about that kind of thing, and although I'm sure we could just move on and pretend it never happened - I'd like to make him feel better about things - because he's been rejecting my support. Any advice?

[Serendipity1607307077]

Sometimes when people feel weak and vulnerable they find it hard to get the courage to go to talk to someone about it, mainly because they feel a bit pathetic.

 

Perhaps you should suggest he speak to a counsellor or an associate, someone he is not intimate or familiar with, to see if his problem can be rectified.

 

In the meantime, stay by his side and offer support to him, but dont' be judgemental or anything, or show your disappointment, as he will need a positive influence around him to help him on the track out of his depression.

[Hope75]

can you break this post up into paragraphs? It's too hard to read all clumped together in one big chunk.

[Msnak]

Everyone makes mistakes, does stupid things, does things they don't always understand. It's good that you're forgiving and that you're able to see that he's still a good person.

 

He's just doing things that are unfortunately, out of character. Stick around, let him know you're there for him, encourage him to be straight with you, and pray with him about his situation.

 

I think his lie to you and then coming clean about it shows that he needs help, so suddenly, even though you're young and maybe unsure what to do, he's looking to you. That says a lot about your relationship!

 

So, if you're confused, seek help from someone you trust, maybe a pastor or counselor, as was suggested. Just be there for him and remain patient.