Serge Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 I am gay and I want to know if my best friend is too (but he doesn't know that I am). We hang out basically everyday and we sleep over each others houses and all that stuff. We talk online everyday and never get tired of it. We tend to stare at each other and smile but I always look away cause I'm not sure if he's gay and I don't want to get too deep into it if he isn't. Sometimes we get really close to each other but we don't do anything. Also he never does anything when I lay next to him when we sleep over each others houses, like he never pushes me away or tries to fight me off. He even put his leg around me. He put his arm around me once too, but that was in front of 2 other people, I don't know if he was joking. He always lays his feet in my lap and lean on him a lot and it seems like he's fine with it. It always seems like we should hook up right then and there, but I'm not sure what he would do. I really like this kid and I always say "I love you" online and I don't know if he gets it. He always says "ok lol". The problem is, he very flirtatious with girls but only when I'm there, and I get jealous. I know that he does when I'm there because I'm always with him everyday. But, when we watch a movie and a naked girl pops up, he never says like "whoa look at that" or something similar like a regular straight guy would do with his friends. He would just sit there, not even a smile or a little laugh. Is he or isn't he? What should I do? Link to comment
babycristy456 Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 I think that your friend may be a potential gay. Let's face it, straight guys all want to be super macho all the time and would not do things like wrap his leg around you, let's you say I Love U, give each other little stares and smiles...things like that! A straight guy would take all those things offensive to his manliness. If he is gay, maybe he flirts with girls because he isn't comfortable letting people know that he's gay. maybe he hasn't fully accepted it yet or is unsure. I think you should admit to him that you are gay. But dont let him know your interested in him so that he doesn't back off. Maybe then, he will be comfortable to let you know if he really is gay or not. Don't make any sudden movements on him though. This might scare him off, and if he is not gay, then he will have a hard time being friends with you again, and might not feel comfortable being around you anymore. Well good luck with that. I hope everything goes well. Love Cristy Link to comment
segagirl Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 tough call my dear. I think the important thing you can do now is admit to him that you are, assuming you are ready for that. I agree to do it in a fashion that is causal, as to not scare him off ...even if he is and is not ready it could scare him off. I think the reason for this is you may be projecting feelings, guys act in many ways, you could be reading something that is not there out of hopeful desire. If you are not ready to disclose this information then just play it by ear, and see where it goes. That of course can lead to trouble if you make a move and he is not expecting it...just be careful and be cautious of your heart! Link to comment
Serge Posted July 9, 2003 Author Share Posted July 9, 2003 He just slept over again and this morning he started scratchin and massaging my head, and he kept rubbing his hand on my face, and I let him. He let me hold his hand, well not fingers laced, but he let me hold it. What does this tell you. Link to comment
segagirl Posted July 9, 2003 Share Posted July 9, 2003 sweet!! I think you got it in the bag....he he...nice when things turn out as we like......go get em sweetie. And yes at this point not talking about it may be to your advantage. Link to comment
Serge Posted July 9, 2003 Author Share Posted July 9, 2003 The weird thing is...he had a bunch of girlfriends, but did nothin with them and he has never hooked up at all. They didn't last too long. Plus he has many girl "friends", just friends. Also, he could have gotten with many girls this year, but did nothing about it. He feels so uncomfortable when he's with a girl, (I've seen him), but when he's with me, he flirts so much. Did I tell you he let me lick his hand...twice? And I've held his hand before and I put my arm around him in bed. Yeah, now that I've talked about it and seen what we've done together and I gathered up my information...I have a strong feeling he is... Well I'm gonna see what he does when I flirt with him some more tonight at his house. If I get close and stare into his eyes, and he stares into mine without sayin a word...I just know he wants to hook up...I'm so excited because we came so so close this morning...if only I looked into his eyes longer because he kept lookin at me...I just hope I don't chicken out... Link to comment
Serge Posted July 15, 2003 Author Share Posted July 15, 2003 I just told him...he says he's not...but he doesn't care if I am...and we are still best friends...does that strike you guys as odd? He does all this stuff to me, but he says hes not and still wants to be my best friend...things didn't change...he's still the same kid...I'm so very confused... Link to comment
segagirl Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 Well I am very proud of you for telling him, don't you feel better? And he just may not be ready to admit it, or maybe he does not feel he is! Just might not be something he has taken the time to think about. I am glad he continues to be close to you, just be yourself. Link to comment
AirRyuuou Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 I agree with the posts above, and want to add something. IF he's really straight like he says, then you're sure that you have a really good friend who totally accepts you for what you are. But after all those things you said, I don't really believe that he can be 100% straight. Or he wouldn't allow you to hold his hand or put your arm around him in bed right? A straight friend usually does respect another friend of being gay, but still wouldn't like physical contact in that way. And don't forget, he may not be gay like you, but.. he could also be bisexual. Maybe if you ever put your arm around him in bed again, he will say something about it or react to it (could be negative; something like 'hey stop it I'm not gay', or positive; like he makes a next physical move). I hope for you that he's really attracted to you and is bi/gay and that you'll get a nice relationship. I suppose you'll have to be patient. Don't lose hope! Link to comment
Rain533 Posted August 7, 2003 Share Posted August 7, 2003 One of my bf thats a guy is gay, I went to school with him from 6 grd to 12th grd and the whole time I thought he was gay but never said anything to him about it, He never really had alot of girlfriend but had alot of girls that where just friends. Three years after we where out of high school he dated a girl and she became preg...( even though he was dateing a girl I still couldn't help but to think that he was gay, he acted the same way to her and he did to me except for the sex thing). Any way the week after he told me that he was going to have a baby we went out and after 6 pitchers of beer and telling me time after time I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU but just drink one more beer, HE told me he was gay, I told him that I already knew and that I couldn't believe that it took him all that time to tell me. You see he spend so much of his life trying to be something that he wasn't and trying to be what people thought he should be. He was so much happier after he came out and I'm proud of him ( and you for having that cerage to do so). It just may be that your friend is just not ready to come out or even admit it to him self yet. And by the way, by what you said about him I do agree with you, I think that he is gay and one day ( may be along time from now ) He will be ready to tell you, but don't push him on it. Link to comment
pitchblackbob Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 I sleep over my friends houses too but whats the deal with you guys on each other, hes either gay or bisexual one or the other, and hes rubbing you he's definatly got a thing for guys. I don't agree with homosexuality but i can see your really in love and i really think in time your friend will see he is gay or bie and i wish u guys the best of luck. I hope everything works out for you i figure it must be hard being a teen or young adult or whatever and trine to guess weather someones gay or not. Best of luck! Link to comment
CaryRob Posted September 5, 2003 Share Posted September 5, 2003 Nevermind, I didn't read everything Link to comment
genello Posted September 7, 2003 Share Posted September 7, 2003 since he is your friend as what you told us he will be at your side and after that he might just come out too he is just not ready to do the first move his just afraid of it. admit it being gay in world is not that to easy sometimes in our life even bi has to cover his feminish to avoid being laugh of the town right? Link to comment
johnjohn Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Youve got a tough decision to make. On the one hand, he may be gay because he is so open and he doesnt have to be macho about everything. On the other hand, he could be sos straight he dosent care. I'd probably just open up to him. You don't need to be like "I want you," just tell him youre having gay feelings in general and youre not sure where you stand in terms of sexuality-even if you are 100% sure ure gay. This way is hes not gay or whatever and he doesnt like you, itll just appear like you wanted to tell him cuz hes youre close frined. On the other hand, if he is gay, hell have n problem opening up to you because youve ben so open with him and you can finaall y find out how he really feels. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now