Opinions Wanted Please!!!

[Regretfulman]

Many women are telling me that I need to tell her I love her, that could change everything, an ace in my pocket, if you will. I think it would at least make her consider taking a closer look, and maybe down the line she would take me back, but i think it will take time

[Regretfulman]

She has only dated the new guy for 1 month, she does not love him she admitted to me last night.

[Regretfulman]

She calls him her boyfriend, but i dont know how true that is, she left me a voicemail last week that was almost a minute long, and i had a female friend of mine listen to it, and she told me "oh ya, she wants you back, you can tell by the tone of her voice", so who knows, like i said her actions are speaking louder then her words are

[patience]

when did you realize that you love her?

[Regretfulman]

I think i have loved her for at least a few months, we broke up 6 weeks ago, she initiated first contact after 3 weeks, then i called her but we got into a fight, 11 days later she called me, which was last night, and we fought, and i apologized for some things i said to her today, and she said she understands

[Regretfulman]

here are some positive signs:

 

she says she misses me, thinks of me, and cares for me

she contacted me first, and called 2 other times

she left a one minute voicemail for me immediately after work last week

she wants to be my friend and says she doesnt want goodbye

she said she doesnt see herself with me "at this time", maybe she is letting me know there is a chance soon, i dont know

[Regretfulman]

There is still a good chance she loves me now, but i honestly feel she is trying to push me away romantically, but she clings on to me in a friendly way, i dont see my words making a difference for now, but maybe she will store them in her head and remember me for the future

[Regretfulman]

By The Way, Thanks So Much For All Your Input, It's Much Appreciated

[Regretfulman]

Do You Honestly Feel That If I Said Those 3 Words That She Would Give Us Some More Thought? I Know She Would Like To Hear Them, Any Woman Would, But I Dont Want To Just Give Her An Ego Boost. Im Sure Whatever She Thinks, She Will Not Let Me Know Her True Feelings At First, She Is Very Guarded, Im Confused

[patience]

how old are the two of you? (if you don't mind me asking)

 

how long were you together when she first said she loved you?

[Regretfulman]

I'm 28, and she is 26, she told me she loved me for the first time after 5 months of dating, we dated for 11 months total. She would tell me she loved me at least once a month, i would give anything to go back in time to one of those moments and say it back to her

[patience]

how about asking her to meet up with you, and having a conversation face to face?

 

I don't suggest saying "I love you" over the phone, she deserves to hear it in person...and she deserves to see that you are being real about it

 

also, I would tell her that you have loved her for months now...and then tell her why you didn't say it...be honest

 

tell her everything you've realized, share what you've learned, tell her you are willing to change your ways, give examples and everything, tell her you are willing to really work on this (don't say anything that isn't true though, you have to take this seriously)

 

if that doesn't work, she is just the not one

 

she may tell you that she needs time to think about it, so then, give her time (if you think she is worth it)

[Regretfulman]

here are my options:

 

1. tell her i love her and walk away

2. walk away now and see what happens down the line

[Regretfulman]

i already asked her to meet me and talk, she said she is fine with it eventually, but not now cuz its too early to do that. She also said her new man wouldn't like it if he knew we were out, which is understandable. I agree those words should only be said in person, so maybe my best plan is to just wait until she is ready to meet me in person and then tell her how i feel, and then just leave her be, whatever happens happens, at least i know i got it off my chest.

[Regretfulman]

But The Bottom Line From Your Point Of View Is That I Need To Let Her Know How I Feel, Correct? You Dont Think Its Too Late To Do That? Or Do You Feel The Longer I Wait, The Less Likely It Is To Make A Difference, Plus She Will Get In Deeper With The New Guy

[patience]

she said she is fine with it eventually

 

eventually..what? ohhh...that's fishy! *red flag*

 

She also said her new man wouldn't like it if he knew we were out

 

...but he is okay with her calling you? hmmm *red flag*

 

Honestly, I don't think you should talk with her if she is not willing to meet with you.

 

The more you share, the more I think she is playing you...which is just not right.

[patience]

actually, the bottom line is YOU have to do what is right for you...because you have to live with your choices

 

what is it that you really want to do?

 

what would be best for you right now?

[Regretfulman]

This girl is notorious for giving mixed signals, she is very emotional herself, and is always guarded. A few people even told me that she may not even really be dating anyone, it could just be a game to make me jealous. Some think she is punishing me for my rejection of her so many times. I know she still loves me, i can hear it in her voice, but i dont know if its too late or what, maybe those 3 words would change everything, after all it was the main thing missing for 11 months

[patience]

do you think she is messed up? does she have any emotional or psychological problems that you know of?

 

if she is making up a boyfriend, that is seriously weird

[Regretfulman]

Honestly i think she is seeing someone, how happy she is is another story. I know she cares more about me then him, its only been 1 month for them, we dated 11 months. I just wonder if the "i love you" is enough to change the situation, or if it isnt, is it enough to make her think deeply about what she wants, me or him. She is a stable person, just highly emotional, and she hates being alone, so thats why i think this guy is simply a distraction from me

[patience]

I just wonder if the "i love you" is enough to change the situation, or if it isnt, is it enough to make her think deeply about what she wants, me or him.

 

you won't know until you try