I'm dying inside

[sweetsmile]

It's exactly one month today since he broke up with me and it's getting worse now than before. Since we often broke up with each other and then got back again after about a week, I was kind of prepared on that he would contact me again after a while, but this time it's really over and I feel like I'm dying inside. I lost several pounds and I look like Mary-kate Olsen. I eat, but I still loose weight. I'm so scared. I can't sleep at night, it hurts so much and I feel like he doesn't care. The thing is that a went to a media (a which) who told me that he already met a new girl and since then (1 week ago) I feel worse than ever. I know it really shouldn't matter if he's seeing someone else since it's over, but I thought that he was feeling as bad as I do. It would make me feel better if I knew he was as hurt as I am, and that he also would like to talk to me. I met him twice on the street 1 week after the break-up and he didn't even say hi. I can't believe that after 4 years he doesn't even care to say hello. How can he be so rude? I know he was hurt by me, but HE broke up with me. Is this very typical for a man who has met someone new? I feel like calling him so bad, but I don't know what to say? I think that I want to know if he's seeing someone just to be sure and to be able to move on. I think it will be easier then. Otherwise I keep hoping that he will finally call. I always thought he was crazy about me and weak and as soon as I call or something he gets weak and wants me back, but this time I feel that it's over for real and I want to die. What shall I do? I really want to know. Shall I call him or call his friend or spy on him? I think I'm getting crazy.

[teacup]

ur really hurting badly. how did you hurt him? why did you guys break up so many times?

 

i too am scared of such hurt. i am worried the guy i like is seeing other ppl.

 

i hate how men can drive us so crazy. i dont know what else to say.......but what was the problem in the relationship?

[Bethany]

While you continue to wonder what he is doing, your NOT moving on. It doesn't matter anymore what he is doing or what happened in the past. It's over, finished and the future must be your main concern.

If you contact him right now, he will see the mess your in and you stand NO chance of getting back with him and you really don't need that and neither does he. He may even really have a new GF and then where will you be? Wait at least until your emotions are calm and you can think clearly.

Also, he ever does contact you, he wont want to see the mess your in, that you can't cope without him etc. He will want to see a strong woman who is handling the situtation and is in control of herself and is doing just fine without him. You should be working towards being that strong person today!

You need to accept what's happened and pull yourself out of the state your in by getting out and meeting new people, getting on with things despite the hurt inside, knowing that this phase will pass however hard it may seem at this time. Believe me it will pass and it can be done. Be strong.

[sweetsmile]

Thank you everyone....real good replies this time!! We were arguying alot during the whole relationship and we hurt each other alot. We both did some really bad things. We broke up so many times. In the beginning I was the one but for the last year he broke up with me at least 10 times, but always came back saying that I was his drug. The sex, attraction, passion and love was very strong for both of us, but everything else was hopeless. He was like a shell, never telling much about himself and I was very open. Anyway, everytime I felt bad and disappointed I contacted his best friends. They preferred me, since I was open and funny and I told them everything about our relationship. He found out and was very upset. When he broke up again and I really thought it was for good I even was very intimate with his best friend and with other guys. He read it in my diary afterwards and broke up again. Finally he couldn't trust me, we had no friends and we both felt very bad, especially him. So that's why he broke up and told me again that this was for the last time. I didn't believe him since I know he's so attracted to me. We had sex the night before, but the day after he was feeling very bad and told me that he can't keep on living his life like this, he can't trust me and he wants a better life and relationship then this. Anyway, he didn't contact me since. I called him 2 times since he told me that we could still talk and be friends. But when I called he didn't sound very happy so I stopped calling. I met him 2 times on the street a week after and he didn't even say hello. i sent him a birthday card by email and he didn't write thankyou. I feel like he met someone new and it hurts so much, since he always came back to me before.

[jessica16]

i think that u should talk to ask him if he wants to get back together and if not just move on and there is someone out there for u

[sweetsmile]

So you guys would try to call him and see what happens. If he still doesnt want me now after 1 month, then I have to let go, and I know I will. I just wonder if I would be more interesting for him if I just don't call. It's so strange that he doesnt wonder how i feel or if I met someone else. He always cared about that before. That's why I'm afraid he met someone.

 

So you think he's the typical person who needs a drug.....I actually think so too. He had the same kind of relationship with his other exes and he always finds an other woman before he leaves one, but I can never be sure he does the same this time, but I think so. He just can't be alone. He needs sex and if he still didn't have someone he would have probably called me by now. It hurts soooo much.