Am I nuts?!!

[jenniferlh]

This is my 5th post. Anyone who has read my previous messages know that I have split from my boyfriend of 10 years for various reasons. After I left he begged for a second chance. All the reasons are in my previous posts. We decided to go to counseling. In the first session he told the counselor that he did not respect for those 10 years, but feels he can now. Can you know respect someone after all that time? On a scale from 1 to 10 he showed me a 4 for love and attention. Is that all I'm worth? And of course he can show me he loves me now. He knows that our relationship was never an "us" because he never knew what he wanted. Of course now that I am gone, he knows what he wants. In our second session he says that he didn't know how bad I was hurting. Yes I would express my feelings, but than everything would be back to normal. What was I supposed to do, keep fighting everyday?! What saying at every Christmas "Were you disappointed you didn't get a ring?" Oh, no that dosn't hurt. Or, "If you are not happy then just leave". Oh. yeah that dosn't hurt. And my favorite after being together 9 years: "If we havn't been married by now, you should know better." The kicker was when he said "I just never thought you would leave me". That's just some examples. And he didn't know I was hurt, because...? Yeasterday calls to tell me that he misses me and loves me and he knows now that I am the most important thing to him. I asked him why it took him 10 years to realize this. He said he always loved me, but because all of his confusion of what he wanted, he never realized how much he truly loved me.

I am just so angry. Mostly because I still love him. How can I still love someone who after 10 years didn't love or respect me.

 

Am I nuts to think about going back?

[Lil R]

No your not because you love him so much! men are like that reading that post just reminds me of my boyf he didnt do the same thing but like only until i scream and shout does he realise what im feeling...i think you need to seriously sit down and talk serious with your partner cause do you really want to go back to him and just let another 10 years go by again? You need to understand what his insecuritys are aout the relationship and even work on it or let it go

[Mun]

You're not nuts. I'm sure you've heard that we never know what we have until we lose it.

 

All that time he didn't make a decision because the situation was probably working for him. It's no longer that way. You left and in doing that he had to face the possibility of life without you. You stood up for yourself and got his respect back. Good for you.

 

You still love him. He now knows he loves you too.

 

I am guessing you want to get married... if so, then let him know that you want to get married and respect his decision not to want that, you are sorry, but you are moving on. If he is serious about wanting you back he will know what to do.

 

Best wishes!

[cinderella jones]

Just curious ...did you guys ever have a trust issue besides him not being sure of your situation? Curious b/c I am going through something similar and sometimes I often wonder if I am crazy for even thinking of getting back with him....but in my case there was a trust bond that was broken....