PLEASE HELP ME GET OVER THIS. PLEASE :.(

[STARSHINE42]

So yesterday morning my cat passed away. She was 20 years old. I kinda knew that she didn't have much longer to live because she was so elderly but I never thought she would acually die.

 

She was fine until friday morning. Before I went to work, she was laying in the basement. (she never layed down there.) When I got home she was there again. So I brought her up to my room and layed with her. She started crying and when she tried to get up she just fell down. I noticed she hadn't eaten all day so I brought up her food and water. She drank the water but didn't eat the food.

 

When my mom got home I told her I wanted to bring her to the vet. She said "she is just old..there is nothing they could do." So I stayed with her all night. She would cry every five minutes or so and she was weezing. She also fell off my bed twice friday night.

 

Saturday morning she looked even worse. She was just laying there with her eyes wide open in pain. I called the vet and they only had an appointment for 11:30. So I went to work. I was so upset I came home a half hour later and she was gone. My mom said she died 5 minutes after I left.

 

I have never been so sad in my entire life. I loved this cat more than anything in the whole world. I had her since I was 4. I really don't think I can get over this. I haven't stopped crying since yesterday. I miss her so much. I hate myself for leaving her to go to work. I should have stayed by her side. I feel like such an awful person.

 

Has anyone ever gone through a loss like this? If so how did you get over it? Please help me

[jna35]

OMG, I am SOOOOOO sorry!!!! I definitely know what you are going through!!! I am so so sorry for your loss!! I lost my best friend almost 2 years ago and to this day I still cry when I think of him. I would say to just give yourself some time to grieve. PM me if you need to talk- I mean that. There are also hotlines that deal specifically with pet loss. I have never called one, but have seriously considered it. She was your best friend and you lvoed her very much, so it's normal for you to cry and feel sadness. You will always miss her, but it does get easier with time; I promise. I send you a hug and again I am really sorry!! Take care.

Here's a link to some info that might be helpful if you want to tlak to someone about it. link removed

[Mrocza]

First of all, don't blame yourself or feel guilty. It was not your fault and I'm sure your cat would not hold it against you that you weren't there. You were with her the whole weekend and took care of her...

 

I'm a brand new cat owner for the first time and I can totally be empathetic with what you're going through. She lived a long life though, and she was obviously happy and loved. Continue to love her memory and try to accept that it was just her time to go.

 

*Hugs*

[miracle29]

First of all I have to tell you I understand your pain (lost a dog and cat that I had since 5yrs old) and I have to say I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart that this happened to you now.

 

You can, and you will eventually be able to cope with this loss. You will "never" get over the animal, because you have all those wonderful memories and so don't aim to get over it, aim to cope with it so you can heal. And I promise you...you will. My dog was 15yrs old when he passed away. My cat was only 5yrs old, but ohhhh how that broke my heart. I cried for about three months straight on the cat, when I had had the dog longer. (I know its crazy) but I was very attached to her, and her kittens.

 

No one could tell me anything, no one could say the words I needed to hear, nothing could help me...EXCEPT FOR TIME. Time heals all wounds, and this situation is no different. You are strong enough to pull through but do not put unattainable expectations on your healing process.

 

You will be ok, and I am very happy that you came here for support. You came to the right place.

 

P.S. Just a suggestion ..create a collage (this will make you cry but its good for the soul) with pictures of you and your cat. Frame it and keep it in a place where everyone can see. Eventually you will get pass this. Your cat would not want you to grieve this way...so be strong for her spirit and for yours.

[STARSHINE42]

Thank you jna for your comment. I'm sorry for your loss too

 

I haven't left my house. All I do is sit here and cry. My eyes hurt from crying so much. When I get up I keep think I see her in the corner of my eye. I feel so empty inside. My mom said she was going to buy me another cat. I don't want another one, and I would never do that to Snoopy. I just want my Snoopy back

[STARSHINE42]

Thanks Fairie and Miracle.

 

Fairie..I can't help feeling guilty. I know she would have died regardless if I was there or not. But I just left when I knew she was in pain. I just wish I had stayed with her.

Congrats on your new cat. They are the most loving creatures on earth. I hope you guys have lots of good times and special moments together.

 

Miracle..Thanks for your comment. I'm sorry for your losses. It is just so hard. You are right nobody can really say the right thing. I mean it helps a little. But there is nothing to say to bring her back. I just wish I had said goodbye. I'm going to buy a scrapbook and put pictures and a poem I wrote for her in there.

[jna35]

I am REALLY sorry about your dad's insensitivity! I have experienced that too with some of my family members. Unfortunately not all people view "furbabies" as part of the family, but they are to me and it's quite obvious that you loved your kitty VERY much as well. I know the guilt you are feeling all too well! My kitty had been seriously ill and we were out to dinner waiting to hear from our vet about a blood transfusion. Well, my husband didn't think he needed to leave his cell number, so there we sat while Wiener crashed, eating chicken!!! I was anxious and so we left for the vet earlier than what they had told us and when we got there, he had just lost his fight! I stood there and just cried. The guilt can be so overwhelming, but it is NOT your fault. I kinda feel like he knew I wouldn't be able to handle the decision of "putting him down" or dying in my arms and did it for me. I honestly think they know. Your kitty was so lucky to have such a loving home and she is with you always. I think your scrapbook idea is beautiful! My husband bought me a purse last year that has Wiener's photo on it and it means the world to me! I also had him cremated so he is still with me. Give yourself some time and I am here if you need to talk.

[miracle29]

Oh I am so sorry I missed that part about your Fathers lack of sensitivity to this. Wow thats sad. However, keep in mind that some men feel that emotion is weak, and when there little girl comes crying to them, sometimes they don't know how to react. They give you the cold shoulder because they are not equipt to deal with the sadness. You never know, your father may too be grieving and is just ashamed or feeling to "manly" to convey this to you. Steer clear of him for a few days and see if he comes around. Go to those who can convey their support to you and eventually you will heal.

 

Oh yes and I know you feel it is too soon to get another cat, but your mom is actually right. Take it from a person who went through this....she is right. NOT SO SOON AFTER ...but with time, you will be doing no injutstice to snoopy if you get another cat. Just don't name them snoopy. Because there will never be another snoopy, only one. The other cat will start a NEW chapter in your life and will have some tall "paws"/shoes to fill. Keep that in mind, but dont close yourself off to the option of another cat. You can love them just as much as you loved the former cat and continue on another 20yrs with another precious feline.

 

I did this about 1yr after my cat Fuji died. I got another cat that looked nothing like her and love him just as much. I named him Oakly. He is still alive and kicking, and being taken care of by my sister and my nieces since I couldnt bring him all the way to Alaska. He is spoiled rotten, he has his own bed, and anything else you can think of. Its pathetic, but I can't help it, he is so special. I sent him toys down from Alaska.

 

P.S.

My father was one of those who thought that emotion was weak, crying was weak, and animals were just animals...and he is intitled to his retarded opinion but that doesnt change my feelings, nor should it.

[miracle29]

P.S.S

Another reason I had to let my sister have the other cat is because I have a baby on the way. I don't want to take any chances of catching infection or the cat perhaps hurting the baby, so I had to make that choice. It was also hard, not as hard as watching your cat pass on, but very hard, because again....I was attached. (Ohh i'm such a wimp when it comes to animals!)

[ReadyorNot]

I am so sorry for your loss.. I am in tears now. I have the biggest heart when it comes to animals... I dont really know what to say because I am really upset but I am so happy that you spent so much time with her before she died. She waited for you to go to work so it wouldnt be worse on you.

 

My mom put my cats down when I was in grade 7. I had them since I was very little. It was awful and I still will never forgive her.... its been like 13 years since.. I just finally got two more cats... I hope they live as long as your cat did.. thats amazing.

 

Ever since the day my cats died, when I go to bed I say goodnight to them, and I tell them I love them.... Might sound crazy to you..

 

Im so worried about my dog dying.. she is almost 9 years old... I will go nuts...