non-dating question. conversational tip

[sfboi415]

I might have asked this before, but what should you self-disclose when you are with friends or with co-workers that you like? What's usually on the list?

 

My boss talked about his fruit tree, and making beverages out of the daily crop. That's not me, but at least that is something.

[Princess18]

i dont quite understand wot your asking??

[ShySoul]

There are no guidelines on what you disclose, it all depends on how well you know they person, how comfortable you are with them and how comfortable sharing information about yourself. You aren't going to share personal information with just casual acquaintances.

 

Stop and actual think about most of the stuff people say in conversations. It's generally silly and pointless. ANYTHING can be used as a means of conversation, as long as the people involved are enjoying themselves. So it isn't something to be worried about.

 

Speak on what you are comfortable with. Mention something going on it your life that you are comfortable sharing. Mention a show or movie you saw. Mention a funny story that happened to you recently. Mention some hobby your getting into. Just relax and let the conversation flow.

[TweaK]

Stop trying so hard let things flow naturally.

[armchairshrink]

... what should you self-disclose when you are with friends or with co-workers that you like?

 

I'm usually different with friends than I am with co-workers. With friends I talk about anything, because I already know I trust them. Co-workers that have become friends are the same.

 

Other co-workers I treat more like acquaintances. I stay away from anything too personal -- like things that I know I'm sensitive about, or anything I may do that is controversial or questionable to the group at hand. You just never know what will come back and bite you in the @$$.

 

As an example, a former co-worker of mine was very into windsurfing. A large group of employees were all eating lunch together in the kitchen one day, and we got onto the topic of windsurfing and wetsuits -- whether or not to wear them, how hard they can be to put on, etc. My buddy, I'll call him A., was very straightlaced and somewhat naive. So when he told the group at large that he wears pantyhose -- you could have heard a pin drop in the silence. It took him a second to figure out why everybody was staring at him like that -- then he told us he wears them under his wetsuit, to make it easier to get on and off. Well, everybody laughed, and everything turned out well; but the story spread faster than poor A. could put a stop to it. I think it even made it up to the company president. The problem was, some people didn't get the second half of the story; so after lunch, a number of people (me included) kept getting asked, "What's this I hear that A. wears pantyhose??" And even after we explained, some of the more conservative (and more senior) crowd still thought that was just too weird. Fortunately, none of these people were in A.'s "food chain", so there were no repercussions for him, except for a lot of embarrassment.

 

That was a funny incident, but I'm sure you can see how that could have gone badly for poor A.

 

So, things I do talk about with co-workers? Movies, sports (I love football), books if they're really good; hobbies. Anything you've done that you're proud of (unless what you're proud of is your uncle the horse thief or your ability to siphon gasoline out of peoples' tanks without their knowledge). Places you've been or unusual things you've seen. Clubs you're in or extracurricular activities you do (again, unless they're controversial. Church choir good; Illinois Nazis bad ). These and hobbies are really good, because they're ongoing; they give people something to connect with and to ask about when conversation falters.

 

Hope this helps!