help!! in love with someone who is not ready for it

[SarCareBear]

alright. so i REALLY need help, this may be kinda long but hear me out!!!

 

okay. so i have this friend, we'll just call her G. Anyway, G and I became friends in english class last year through a mutual friend, and by the end of the year the 3 of us were all extremely good friends. however G and I would always have these weird moments. like one time, she was really upset about something and she was tearing up and it moved me soo much that i wanted to like stroke her hair and told her things would be okay. i found myself wishing i talked to her outside of school, so one night i IMed her and we had a 3 hour conversation, and it was really intense too. i just found that i was able to be so honest with her and we had so much in common...

 

anyway, at the end of last year we would talk all the time. we would both admit we like, really needed to talk to eachother. i was going away for the summer though, to be a camp counselor. the night before i left, we were talking online and i told her to call me. so she did, and we stayed on the phone from 11 pm to lke 5 in the morning, and we only hung up because i would be ridiculously sleep deprived. she told me all about this relationship she had with her friend we'll call E, which was exactly the same as a relationship i had with my friend R.... the relationship me and R had before we realized we were actually "in love" or something close to that. she was in love with a girl, and she didn't know it yet.

 

so i would call her whenever i could this summer which was usually late at, and we'd always had good conversations. she'd write me letters and i'd write her back.. we'd say weird things like that we were using notebook paper from our private notebooks, and just being weirdly flirty and knowing that we were in on eachother's secrets (we both write a lot, keep journals, poems, and all that). i told myself NOT to do this, not to talk to her so much and fall for her so much, but i couldn't stop it. i was totally falling for everything about her.

 

meanwhile, with more or less my help and suggestions, G started to fix her insanely emotional relationship with E and they became close friends again after a longg year of fights and this stupid drama between a bunch of cliques. they now talk to eachother on the phone every night, last person before bed, the way they used to. i admitted to G that i knew i was bi - i told her everything about what really happened with R, i couldn't keep it a secret from her anymore. she understood completely and after i was done said she thought she felt the same thing for E - she is now come to terms that she has been in love with E. and now last night G told me "okay it's true - i am in love with E". and E loves her too without even knowing it - she always touches her and says she loves her and that G is her baby.

 

so, great for her, right? i just want to see her happy. G is currently waiting for the "right moment" before she makes a move with E, which obviously has the potential to be extremely awkward but there is a LOT of sexual tension between them, a lot of which E unknowingly creates. so G loves E, meanwhile i've fallen so hard for G that i don't know what to do. she's already so confused right now, first coming to terms with her sexuality and a long complicated relationship, she doesn't need me to complicate everything more by telling her the truth of how i feel about her. not to mention i'm paranoid by everything i say, because I'm afraid she'll figure it out.

 

idk, am i doing the right thing? she says she needs to talk to me, and she loves me, but she really only means it as a friend thing i think because E is her MAIN focus. what should i do?? however its killing me, i'd give anything to be able to tell her how i REALLY feel about her. so yeah, any advice, is welcome.

[Mrocza]

I would say just 'fess up and tell her how you feel, but I KNOW that is easier said than done.

 

However, your feelings will not go away on their own, especially if your love for her is genuine. You can either hide the truth and live with the fact that she loves someone else and accept that...or tell her how you feel, with the chance of ruining the friendship (however, not much of a friendship if you have to endure such emotional torture)

 

You need to realize whats best for YOU and not be scared to do what you truly want to. You only live once...and regrets make you realize you should've spoken when you had the chance

[SarCareBear]

the problem is i think it would be selfish at this point to tell her - she's REALLY confused already. although it is eating away at me inside.

[SarCareBear]

okay ill put it this way:

 

is it wrong to admit to a friend who thinks they love someone else, and trusts you enough to talk to you about it, that YOU are in love with THEM?

 

someone, please think about this.

[UT]

It's never wrong to love someone.

 

"Am I doing the right thing?"

 

Well... yes and no. you love her enough to want what's best for her. That is good. But think of the consequences if G and E got together. You would feel enormous pain. You are doing right by letting her decide and fall in love with whom ever she wants to. But you are doing wrong by not letting her know how you feel.

 

I think you should let her know that you love her (though this could cause some problems). I've been in love without letting anyone know. (It was forbidden love AKA gay love. Besides he was/is probably straight) believe me it hurts. It hurts to love someone and not being able to get it returned. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. It was hell.

 

Tell her that you'll love her in any way she needs you to. If as only a friend then so it be, but if she needs you to be more than a friend then you'll do that to. Just don't keep you love in the shadows it will only hurt you. It's never wrong to love someone.

[Imisshersomuch]

Hey how you doing..Im ok i guess,, what you need to do is be invisible to her dont return her phone calls or texts or aim.. cause then shell be like wow i miss her so much i want to be iwth her cause shell realize what you guys had was special... trust me im still trying to get my ex back from 2 years ago.. i was with her for 2 years... Im so deeply inlove with her it horrible... so im doing what i told you and it been weeks i havent talked to her and she called me last fri and said i love you i just wanted u to know that she been telling me she misses me lately and i think she is breaking so i think im getting her back... so just take time with it shell come around... And it will be ok... If you need to talk my s/n is fadingawayalive on aim... im here for everyone.. so dont be shy itsok... good Luck...