I NEED HELP AND HAVE NO WHERE TO TURN!!!

[ashley_n_pat_gone_4good]

"Its the hardest thing ill ever hafta do..to turn around and walk away pretending i dont love you"

Hi..Im really looking for some help...heres my story about why:

All my life i've grown up with the same group of guy friends who are my best friends in the whole world...one in particular is pat. Pat and I started dating when we were like 10...i kno that sounds stupid but still..we kept an on-and-off relationship going for about 7 years. Around the time when i was 14..while we were on a "break", he fell into a relationship with another girl that we'll just call Lisa..well me and lisa since havent seen Eye to Eye...Entering his seinor year, Pat decided he wanted to enter the army..so i was cool with that, he was still my best friend..well out of the blue the unthinkable happened and pat left lisa to be with me!!! i was psyched! so we went on dating for 11 months in which time, pat told me he wanted to marry me and took my virginity..now as i sit here and type this let me tell you, things didnt go down the way id planned. in April, Pat left me to be with Lisa again...and i was CRUSHED...now pats leaving next week and once again he left Lisa but has also cut ties with only me...our group of friends consists of me pat james chris and kyle..well today...pat james chris and kyle are all out camping and pat decided that its best for him if he stops talkin to me...hes leaving next week guys and i cant let him go...i seriously need some help im BEGGING for someone to come thru...im a 17 yr old Miserable teen! HELP! *ASHLEY*

[SwingFox]

Hello Ashley,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us for seeking advice. I am sorry to hear that Pat is leaving you for good. I understand that you love Pat very much and that you'd like to be together.

 

The truth is that you cannot force someone to be or fall in love with you. He will go away for the army... he already signed for that. Are you ready for being separated for that time that he is away from home? That is exactly what you are facing. I very well understand that it's not easy to let someone go that you love and especially not someone that you have lost your virginity to. Don't get me wrong, because I have been a teenager myself.

 

I don't have much advice for you. If you really love him, you might want to try one more time to make him totally understand how much you feel for him, by talking to him and expressing those feelings. I believe that's all you can do. Before you do, though, make sure that you're ready for him leaving and being away from home for longer periods of time.

 

I hope that this helped you and I wish you good luck.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[doblersdream]

Hi Ashley. Welcome to eNotalone.

 

I understand your predicament, but you must respect this person's wishes. By all means, tell him in no uncertain terms how you feel, but face the fact that he is unlikely to not join the army because of a relationship.

 

You're both still young, so who knows how things might develop when he returns from service. Maybe you could keep in touch with him by letter or email.

[ashley_n_pat_gone_4good]

this is all great help.......anyone got n e more??

[Foreigner]

Hi Ashley,

 

Are you sure you want to be with a guy that leaves you from time to time and then comes back?? If he really loved you - he wouldn't be playing all those games. And to me it sounds like he's simply using you and your love.

 

I understand that you love him and how much pain you feel now. But in my opinion you should have some good thoughts about ending this relationship completely. It'll hurt a lot at first, but you'll overcome this, and get a new life and a new love. I know it sounds very far and difficult now, but IMAGINE yourself three years from now in both cases: how would you feel if you stayed with him? How would you feel if you left him now? Which of these two scenarios do you like more??

 

These were just my 2 cents. You are the one to decide...

 

Good luck!

 

Foreigner.

[all is flawed]

Ashley,

 

im really sorry to hear about what happened with you and pat. i see that now only was he your love, but your best friend for a long time. However, you will move one. YOu sound like a great person, and your letting HIM hold you back. take a step back, and look at what is going on. Pat is been in and out of relationships with you and the other girl several times. You dont even know if he has been honest to you. He may be going through hard times now, and is confused, and if he is, you should try to be there with him. However, i think you should move on. I have friends going to the army, and ones going to west point, and oens going to other military schools. You will be forced but to grow apart from him. However, maybe that is y he did that. To save you from the hurt of never seeing the person you love. Its hard to lose some1 you love. its even harder if they never want to talk to you again. However, you will go on, dont let him hold u down.

As I sit here all alone,

I wonder how I'm suppose to carry on when you're gone.

I'll never be the same without you,

I love you more then you will ever know.

So maybe now you finally know.

Sometimes we're helpless and alone,

But you can let it keep you weighted down.

You must go on.-The Ataris

 

dont give up on your other friends, and you will make more in the future, and find a guy who will know when he has a great person like you, unlike pat who doesnt even know what he wants in life. hope eerything works out, PM or AIM me(all is FLAWed) if you want to talk ever.

 

-Josh