How do you show its a date??

[mattj]

ok so a mutual friend of a girl said i should ask her out- i kinda like this girl anyway so i took tis as a good sign- and i think given time i may somehow work out how to ask her out in some way....

 

...and now the "but"! ok last time i asked anyone out the person didnt seem to know that i was "asking her out" for a "date" as such (i later found she knew i had meant to ask her out and wasnted interested but thought she liked me enough as a friend to want to get to know be).

 

so this is my problem- if i ask someone out how do i make it show its a date? especcially seeing im not the sort of person to go up and ask straight "will you go out with me" or something- i just need a way of showing whether when asking her out or when on this 'date' what i am trying to mean!

 

thanks!

[lillady898]

"Can I take you out on a date?"

 

I think that would clarify things. Anytime a guy asks me to "hang out," I assume it's a friend thing.

[mattj]

yeah but that would make too much sense!

 

i don't know i just cant really get my head round aying that- afraid it could be too much at onceif you get what i mean? or would it not be? just that if someone said that to me it could be a bit overloading depending on what im thinking!

[lillady898]

just that if someone said that to me it could be a bit overloading depending on what im thinking!

 

Then you're thinking too much!

 

I guess it's all about personal preference. But if you worry about that too much, you won't be able to say or do much of anything.

[mattj]

yeah you're right i guess! meh worry cripples us

[randy]

try " if your free on xxx day why don't YOU and I go to xxx "

[smallworld]

My guess is if you're having the problem of date ambiguity, it's because you're not flirting enough with the girls in question and coming off more as a 'friend' than a potential suitor. Try to flirt more before you ask them out and make it clear in small ways that you're attracted to them. For example express your admiration when she does anything really well (which shows you admire a girl's brain as well as the nicer looking parts of her), really listen to whatever it is she has to say (which shows you sincerely care about what she thinks and feels), compliment her on what that they're wearing if it's interesting, and tell her she looks pretty when she does. Most guys your age are too enamored with a girl's outsides to notice the beauty within, so that kind of sincere, flattering attention will definitely make you stand out in her thoughts as a special guy.

 

You could make things clearer by upping the romantic aspect of the the type of date you ask them out on. For example: movies, mini golf, or ice cream is what I'd usually suggest for first dates, but they're not as romantic as say a nice dinner and dancing which requires you both to get all dressed up. Something as simple as a single rose when you meet her, chivalry (opening doors, pulling chairs), and hugging her when you meet and leave her can make all the difference. Make it clear that you want to treat her to a night of fun and I think she'll get the idea that you see her as more "girl" than friend.

 

If that sounds a bit daunting, you might try a group date where it's clear that everyone's already a couple. Voila! No need to use the word "date" when it's so obvious you're already on one.

[mattj]

ok odd enough, in the last few seconds i have asked a girl out, but i dont know still whether she knows its a 'date' date- meh oh well- at least i actually asked someone out!

 

 

hmm- now do i pay or do we split the cost of whatever we have? (probably just coffee or something...)

 

and will the fact that i said i didnt fancy meeting her with her friends when whe offered, mean anything to her?

 

i hate questioning everything

[smallworld]

I believe whoever does the asking, should do the paying. Ideally when you're dating exclusively you alternate who wines and dines each other which is more romantic than say whipping out the calculator and going 'dutch.'

 

Hmmm. Well it's all in how you talk about her friends. If you said in a rather playful tone of voice that "I'd rather not meet up with them, because I want to spend my time with you alone." I think she might have found ditching her friends highly tempting.

[mattj]

theres no worries there- im very very good friends with her friends, and the funniest bit is that my friend who suggested i should ask her out forgot that they where meeting up on the day she suggested! anyway i think i said i wouldnt want to intrude or anything, but she had said that maybe she could cancel her plans befor i said i didnt want to meet up with her friends which is maybe a good sign? our mutual friend said she probably knew i was asking her out but im still worried like this!

 

anyway yeah i'll pay, that pretty much points out its a date so two birds with one stone!