I do not know how to let him go

[iminvertigo]

Well although I feel like a complete idiot I just need to vent and cannot put my poor friends through it anymore. We were together for two years. 3 times during the relationship he started to act distant and took time apart because he want sure if "wanted to be commited," "needed to figure things out", "didnt know if i was the one" etc. Finally 3 months ago he was starting to act weird again, so I told him I could not do it anymore and that it was not fair to me. We agreed that we would stay together to fix up the house and close on it. One week before the selling of our house we were in Vegas for a wedding and he asks me to be with him , tells me he does not want to be apart, etc. I did not respond. We get back from Vegas and I tell him we need to talk about things.He states that he wants to be together but does not want to live to gether anymore.

 

I did not say anything. I was so confused and hurt. We closed on our house last Thursday and now are living apart and looking for apartments. I thought a lot over the weekend and realized( well I always knew but did not want to admit it to myself) that this "being together but living apart" is just a way for him to experience being a bachelor again and to not have the inconvience of a live in girlfriend. It is like I would be a girlfriend when it was convienient to him. It would also be easier for him if he did indeed decide he likes being alone instead.

 

I understand that a relationship should be separate of your living arrangements, but I do not trust his intentions. I can see it now. 3 months ( most likely a week will go by) and he will beg for me to come back, then 6 months down the road he will do it again. I think if two people are committed in their hearts, it can work, but I do not believe he is. And until I see that I know what I have to do.

 

I have been strung along for two years, and although he truly is my best friend and my heart, I told him last night I cannot do this. I have nothing more to give and need to come first to someone. I told him if he doesn't love me just let me go.

 

He stated he wanted to meet face to face and I agreed, so that is the next step.

 

I know I have to be strong and end it then. How do you end something you know is wonderful, how can you let someone go because they are scared. I do not know how to let him go and I am in agony inside.

I have been through worsei n my life, but it sickens me I have met the man I want to be with and I have to let it go. I just do not know if I can do it.

I am just the type who thinks that people need to work through things and not give up, but I also know I need to respect myself. I know many people say they met the one, but I really did. It was finally that feeling of finding someone who gets you, who you can be totally yourself around , someone you can tell everything... and so much more.

 

I have posted before about this situation that I keep letting go on, I keep this vicious circle going on and on.

 

This is hell.

Any words would be appreciated. Thankyou.

[NewPhillyGuy]

I understand how you are feeling right now. I am going through a painful breakup at the same time with my fiancee. She just up and left the apartment we shared 2 weeks ago.

 

It sounds like this guy has been going back and forth for a while, and much too long at that. He's toying around with your feelings, that is not right plain and simple. As hard as it might be, you need to just stick it to him and just cut off contact all together. He's not good for you and what he's doing is just outright wrong.

 

I can't believe he backed out after you closed on a house. That's a huge decision, and he should have thought MUCH more carefully before getting into something like that. I would never be able to forgive someone for doing something like that. He's a waste of your time.