8 years down the drain!! Need Advice.

[steven1324]

Me and my girlfriend started dating 8 years ago. We were both age 14 at the time and it was love at first sight. We saw each other every day at school, so there was not much alone time. After we graduated we we began to discuss marriage and pland for the future. She decided to go to college about 30 miles from my house. During the next few months everything would change. My dad got transferred on his job and I decided to move with them. This now put us about 1hour and 15 min apart so we just couldn't jump up and see each other. I got a job back in ruston so we could be together. She stayed at my place almost every night. This lasted for about a year then I got offered another job back in shreveport. We talked about it and decided that this would be the better thing for me to do. It meant that I could make more money and put some back for when we got married. So I took the job and it was fine for about 3 months then one night on the phone she said she wasn't in love with me anymore. This was really shocking I took it very hard. Cried all night for 2 weeks and tried to talk to her as much as I could. She finally said that she just didn't want to talk. I don't understand how 8 years can just stop in one night. I am still missing her everyday and I love her more than life itself. She was my best friend and soul mate. If anyone has any advice for me to try please let me know. Thanks

[enchantedfeather]

Hi, I know how it feels to have to just, Take it as it comes with relationships(as in *poof* feelings are NOT gone). I just got out of a 2yr(not nearly as long as yours, but I'm trying) relationship and it is so hard. I enjoy talking to him still but it seems like he doesnt want to talk to me. He hasnt said it yet, but he is moving 6hrs away so I highly doubt he will be talking to me still.

All I try to do is keep myself busy. I dont really know whatelse to do. I feel very alone (that is how I found this site) and very betrayed.

Just try to remember the saying my friend told me. "If the world gives you lemons, make lemonade". Try to find something positive in every situation and it will get you further than just dreading on the situation.

I doubt that I helped you in any way, but just remember that you are never alone and people (and friends/family) are always around to talk to, and cry with.

Peace Out my Friend.

[JustAnotherFriend]

Hi,

I am very surprised to read your post coz its *exactly* what I went through a few yrs ago. Same story, fell in love at the age of 14...went around for 7 yrs and it all blew off. I was mentally ill for 3 months and am really doing fine today.

I think I can give you some good pointer on how to deal with this problem.

First of all take my example and trust me when I say that you will be fine. You had an 8yr relationship and I had a 7 yr one, not much difference. I know you probably think she is your soul-mate and things like that, coz I used to think the same but now I have grown to understand that soul-mates are not ditchers and dumpers! If she really loved you do you think she could ditch you this way, knowing what it would do to you. These people are not worth all the effort we put into them.

Initially even I tired very hard to make the relationship stay but these stone hearts dont melt to see you miserable. So take the better stand. next time she calls you , act like it doesnt matter that you two are breaking off. Almost make it seem like you are relieved you didnt end up marrying her. Then let go (I know its not easy) !!!

I am happy with my life today and the only sensible thing I did was to let go of my so called "soul-mate". People who can make you cry for weeks are nothing but jerks who dont deserve you.

I assure you, you'll be fine in a few months. In this time, you will need that support of your friends. That helps a lot. I used to feel scared in the time that I was alone but talking to people helped a lot.

I am also always around, if you need to talk more about this.

Do Take care !

[sisterlynch]

Relationships end sometimes unexpectedly. Don't stand in her way or contact her in any way. I bet that 95% of the people reading this have encountered an unfriendly ending to thier relationships. Don't act depressed or angry around others. Give everyone the impression that you are not still greving over that relationship. When you meet new girls don't offer up too much of your past right away. Go to out door events in your area. That would be a good way to meet people. Tell family and friends that you are interested in meeting new people. Don't jump into a new relationship too quickly as you are not quite ready to move on...give it 6 mos. to a year. The heart is a resillient organ. Think about the good times that you had with her and picture those good times continuing with other people.