people warming up to you

[david90]

how long does it usually take for others to warm up to you after the first conversation?

 

Do people like people who has a lot of friends better than people who do not? When trying to make friends, i feel like they are judging me based on the fact that i don't have a lot of friends. From my POV, most people only want to get to know you if you have a lot of friends so they make friends with your friends. I see a lot of boring people who people try to get to know better because they have connections.

 

I used to be shy but now i'm a lot better and talk a lot more. Even though i talk more, i'm still having a hard time making friends because people do not seem to warm up to me like i do to them. I'm pretty nice btw.

[Jetta]

People who make friends more easily are generally more outgoing, happier disposition, etc. I'm a more serious, introvert. So the friends I have are few but close. Maybe an extrovert can give you some pointers or even do some reading. I've learned how to appear extroverted in certain situations just by techniques. Generally though I prefer a close-knit group of friends.

[anonymous_presence]

From my personal experience, I've never known anyone to purposefully try to meet people with a lot of friends over someone with relatively fewer friends. I don't see how that would fit into someone's reasoning, and it's pretty inane if someone uses that as a criterion for finding friends. Generally people's warming up to a person is eased by how welcoming the person is, which includes to a certain degree things that we can't control (e.i. body language). It's quite surprising how important body language can sometimes be (folding your arms, hunching your back, looking at the floor, for example, are all uninviting signals). I don't know how relevant this is to you, but I find that when it comes to meeting people, the physical appearance (not necessarily attractiveness) overrules anything else (even when it comes to making friends).

And once you past the point of the first conversation and get to know each other's personality better, I suppose it all has to do with chemistry and making lasting impressions. Unfortunately being nice doesn't automatically make you memorable, so people won't approach you with the same warmth they might have left with at a previous time. But that doesn't mean you should force your personality to come through either; just be yourself and appear as welcoming as possible, and if there's compatibility, hopefully a friendship will develop.