14 years difference

[Shiver]

If i was not so afraid of the oppinions of others i think that we would still be together. I was 16 and he was just about to turn 30 the first time we made love. I was so terrifired of what other people would think that i refused to aknowlage the fact that we were having a relationship, even after 4 months of sleeping together.

One night we sat down and had a serious talk and he told me that he loved me and wasnt sure if he could take the secrecy anymore. Things kinda changed from then on in. I guess i kinda woke up to what i had been going for the last four months behind everyones backs. I stopped talking to my lover with out giving him any reason. Looking back that was the most difficult thing i have done yet. I was so confused about what i had been going and why. It took two months for me to talk to him again. When we did talk he asked me to come back to him and have a real relationship, one which people would know about. I turned him down. Im just generally terrified about what others will think. Also i fear that i would miss out on so much by being with someone 14 years my senior, he has already experienced so much of life, which i have not.

We stil talk often and he still invites me to his place and tells me that he loves me although he is no longer 'in love' with me. I know i stil have feelings for him and i really miss him. I miss everything about him and at times i wish we still had what we did. One minute i will be wanting him back in my life and the next i wont. Im so scared that i might give in, because some times i just want to. I think i just need someone to tell me what i was doing was wrong and that i must never do it again!

[charmed]

You are 16, You don't feel comfortable about being with a 30 year old, then you shouldn't be with a 30 year old !!

 

I was best friends with a girl last year. She was 17 and her b/f was 38! They were particuarly f*£$ed up though, and she stayed with him mainly because she got a standard of living that she otherwise would not have had at 17.

 

You are afraid of the opinions of others? What are you afraid of - they will not talk to you because of this, they will give you hassell all the time because of this? Yes, this will put pressure on any relationship you may have, and if you are not happy with that, then it needs to be considered in the whole equation.

 

Everything needs to work smoothly, and if this is not going to happen, then you need to reconsider your position. Age gaps have worked in the past, and they will work in the future. They are however difficult, and will cause many fences, especially at your age.

 

Think long and hard about what you are doing. You don't need lots of hassell at your age. Only stay, if you believe you will still be there in 10 years time and the rest !!!

 

Good luck,

 

A.

[tobigahart]

definitely a tough one. Isn't love just the craziest thing? I would reccomend ending it because unless you are both totally bessoted with eachother and have been for along time then there are defintely more guys out there who will be able to make you just as happy while also giving you the convenience of being closer to your own age There is plently of love in the world and as long as you believe it, you will find love again and it will be just as sweet