call her??

[hoppy27]

im pondering the idea of just calling her and staright up asking her whats going on. is that a good idea or am i just setting myself up for disaster.

 

this girl picks me up at a 4th of july party. we spent three or four wonderfull nights together. i loved just loved looking into her eyes ...she was beautiful. she would tell me how amazing i was, how she loved the way i touched her, that she felt she could trully just be herself with me.

for the first time in 2 years i felt i connected with a woman.everything was going awesome until alittle over two weeks ago. we went out on a friday night......i called saturday and she was "busy". she is fresh out of along relationship i know she needs her space so i called wednesday. we talked for a bit. i told her "i didnt want you to think i was interested........but i also know you need your space". she said "i know you are and thankyou for the space"

she ended with saying "i might be going to the cape this saturday.....if i dont do you want to get together......if not saturday maybe early next week?". i said " that sounds good....give me a call".

she never called...........in fact she didnt call until this past wednesday. i wasnt home so i missed it. i called back only to have to leave a message.

that was friday...........she hasnt called. it is now monday.

 

about a week ago..............i heard there may be another guy in the picture.i was very surprised. or maybe i was just suprising myself by thinking this wouldnt happen. i havent talked to her so i havent actually asked her.

me and her had along talk about honesty one night..........she lead me to believe she was an honest person.

 

was i blown off?? should i call her and ask her what happened? why she stopped wanting to see me and calling me?? or should i take the hint.......and walk away. i feel like the "rebound guy". i let my heart open way to fast. this one hurt. she really had me thinking we were more then this. any advice...........similar experiences???

[suprema99]

That's a tough situation hoppi. that whole long term relationship she was in before you puts a red flag on enverything. I would call her again, and if your able to get in contact with her, pay attention about her ex. I wouldn't pry her though for imformation since you guys don't know each other like that. Make it seem your cluless about what your thinking, but you had a good time the days you spent. And go from there.

[hoppy27]

we have had the talk about her needing to be single. i actually encouraged it. she told me she didnt want to date other guys. she said "yes i have been asked out, but no i didnt accept.....i didnt see any future with them like i see with you". this is only one of many things she told me during our time together. has me very confused. its not like i can expect her not to date others. shes free to as she pleases. after telling me

on the phone "i need to be single"...........i assumed that meant "i dont want to rush into anything......but at the same time i dont want to see other guys........just you"

then i hear there is another guy.....and she isnt calling. whats up???

[suprema99]

I say give her a call. And do your best to get to talking again, without of course calling her off the hook and being pushy. If she told you those words, than if you call her again, she should call you back . And if she doesn't, then she lied to you and gave you false hopes or is a person who easily changes her mind between guys. That's how I look at it.

[heloladies21]

She blew you off. Don't call her. Do your best to forget and keep talking to other chicks. If she decides to call, realize that she's flakey and will drop you in a heartbeat so make sure you don't take her seriously. Trust takes a long time to develop between people. Try to give it longer next time.

[hoppy27]

i dont "feel" i should call. i just hate wondering..............

the person who told me about the other guy is a reliable source.

still i sit wondering if its really true...why she would do this.....am i just a rebound guy as might be this guy. she was with her ex for 6 years.

would she tell me all these things if she really didnt mean them??

my biggest problem is i dont let everygirl into my life. im over selective. often staying single for years after i get out of a relationship. she came out of no where.........i thought she was "my type", someone i could actually get along with as a girlfriend. we had alot of fun and some pretty heavy "sexual" times. and then she just disapears????!!!!!!!

this one hurt.................i was sooooooooooooooo fooolllllleeeeeddddd.

[suprema99]

Helloladies, says don't call her. I feel you should. To see what's up?? instead of debating about what this good source you say, tells you. You know nothing unless it's a fact to you. That's why I say don't give up on it until you know more for sure. Also, don't expect anything here, until you do know more about her.

[hoppy27]

suprema....................lol who's right???!!!!!!

 

i already know whats up.....why call her to have her confirm it???

 

bottom line is that if she really trully wanted to pickup the phone she would. i have to except she hasnt and may never. she knows where i last stood with her. she knew i was extremly attracted to her but at the same time i also understood she needed time. we took this as fast as she wanted to go. i just rolled with it.

ive spent to much time wondering and questioning what happened and what went wrong. i need to focus more on me.....not what shes doing.

its not my business. i suppose i can find some light knowing maybe this was a sign of what type of person she may really be.

next time ill be more carefull thats for sure.

[suprema99]

Hey hoppy, if you feel you did enough then leave it be. It's hard to know for sure what the situation is without knowing you and just seeing it in writing. Basically what it comes down to.

[Shidoshi]

I think it's pretty obvious that her interest in you isn't all that high. I would let it go until she contacts YOU. Why waste your time trying to get answers when they're right in front of you.

 

Flakey behavior = not interested, or not interested ENOUGH. Let her go dude, she'll drain your life force for her own self-esteem. Remember, "actions" speak much louder than words. She confused you with her words, but what are her "actions" telling you?

[hoppy27]

your right shidoshi..............time to move on from this one.

[einstein1387]

i think if you really like her like you say you do or if your still just a little interested go for it. i mean why not, you never know she could be waiting for it hoping you do call to see if your interested. I say go for it dude becasue you dont want to regret it later on and be talking about her with your friends about how you always wished you called that one girl, the worst thing that could happen is she could say no, i think you have a good shot

good luck

[Shidoshi]

einstein1387, he DID "go for it," and her flakey behavior is the result.

the worst thing that could happen is she could say no, i think you have a good shot

good luck

He doesn't need to be strung along in the hopes that she magically starts giving him more attention or better yet, romantic attention. It's not about him having a "good shot," that kind of thinking is what gets a lot of guys in trouble, if not now, later. What about HER having a "good shot" with him? He's already demonstrated an interest in her, and she isn't reciprocating. This is what happens when guys can't take a hint, they persist until they get their feelings hurt then start crying about being lead on and lied to.

 

I stand by my advice, unless she shows some kind of initiative or interest in meeting with you, it really isn't worth thinking about.

[hoppy27]

i agree 100%..............................she knows where i stand.

i wont stand to be decieved and thats what exactly she has done.

[suprema99]

You agree 100% hoppy, but why isn't she calling you right now, lol If she does call you good for you, but you have to start thinking of the whole picture here. Don't ever expect things will come to you unless you put the right effort into it. goodluck