what are the common turn offs when developing a friendship

[workaholic]

with someone (could be a guy or girl). Since you and me are likely to be the one who pursues the friendship (it always seems that way) with anyone, what should we avoid doing or saying that can ruin our chances of developing friendships (and not acquaintances).

 

Old man Carnegie said that we must show an active interest in people. I agree. But what else should we do?

[Cynder]

Don't be needy.

Be sure of yourself.

 

Persuing friends is hard. I've had a few friends move away, so of coarse I have had to find some new ones. It is not easy. Good Luck.

[darkblue]

It's not easy to make friends. The best way to do so is to get into clubs/hobbies or interests that you like. That way you already have something in common with the people that you will be meeting.

 

You could also try and join a gym to meet people.

 

There are a lot of people out there in similar situations.

 

Good luck and take care.

[workaholic]

have any of you felt unmotivated to actually do the things you've described (and more) because you didn't have any friends? I know that some people join things because a friend of theirs is doing it as well. I think I am unmotivated because I usually come into things BY MYSELF and that makes me feel kinda self-conscious. Today, there is a social event by my old "tribe" that I could go to, but it is only me coming. I mentioned to myself that I would improve my looks, my width and breadth of conversations, my positive attitude, contact lenses, e.t.c. But that hasn't happened. I've gone backwards instead of forward and to go over still wearing my glasses with not much to say (except for work and that I'm pursuing a relationship with a girl) is not a desireable situation. I will still go, because what I want to do is connect with the person who likes me (or is used to me) the most. Then, if I stay in constant communication with them for the fall I could do fun things with him/her and friends. Branching off, so to speak.

[Shadows Light]

Well... thats not true that you've gone backwards... pppssshhhawwww.

 

What you were originally looking for were conversation starters.. lol. What to say... or not say. You have grown... are you up on current events?? have an opinion on them? What about that good ol stand by the WEATHER?? or talk about those pursuits you found on your own? Are you well read? What books have you read? Seen movies??? Music interests?? All those things have grown and changed I bet.

 

Go have a good time and be yourself. I'm sure you'll be the hit of the party if you give yourself a chance to relax.... don't worry about what others will think.. or say or whatever... DOES it really matter?? Noooo... they don't pay your bills. So.. don't sweat it. Go to have a good time.

[Shadows Light]

eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww I just thought of something...

 

Don't WHINE. Keep the bad stuff to yourself. Anything bad happening that is a downer... uhhhhggg you'll have people running for cover quick if you start off a "PITY PARTY" story ..... and if you MUST... ie.. lets say..for instance you are recently divorced, look for a way to announce it that has a silver lining to it. Like, "yeah... I was thinking of purchasing a bigger house because we were running out of living space. But when I put pen to paper.. I found another way to get more CLOSET space.. so I got divorced." badda bing. LOL. Hey... it works. You can almost find humor to any human condition and issue.

[Cynder]

I agree with shadow. Don't wine. I should have said that in my other reply.