Ok, heres the situation:

[Noo_Noo]

Hey all, first post, i thought i'd best fll you in with eveything.

 

First of all, i was 15 and I met a nice fella called Dale. We started seeing each other, and i was smitten. We had a great relationship for about 9/10 months, when suddenly i find that he has left me for a younger frined of mine. This was devastating enough, and i put myself through the torture of seeing them together at school, inside i knew i still loved him but felt there was nothing i could do.

It was irrelevant in the end, as Dale insisted thathe made a mistake and wantedme back 3 months later, at which point I still loved him and welcomed him back with open arms.

 

about a year and a half later though, right in the middle of exam season, he decides that he 'doesnt want to be with anyone anymore' to which i am totally devistated but try to maintain myself through the exam season.

 

However, i have discovered that he has since got back together with the ex-girlfriend he cheated on me with, and my whole world has fallen apart with a culmination of both things. I can't eat or sleep or do anything but lie around and cry. I feel i should point out that i have a history of depression and this feels much worse than anything else i have gone through. I just dont know what to do anymore, since i live quite a sheltered lifestyle about 15 miles away from teh colege and hence the soial life i had there, i don't hang around my local area, i have nobody to turn to.

 

I just don't know what to do.

[jna35]

I'm sorry for your pain; that must be a horrible feeling!! You can't force someone to love you, which I know you understand. I know how hurt you are right now, but it really will get better. Do you have any friends you can have some fun with? Have you thought about putting your energies into something else, like volunteering, a hobby? I know that may seem like a simplistic answer, but it may help to get involved in something other than your pain. There is a guy worthy of your love and in time, when you least expect it, you'll find each other.

[Noo_Noo]

I'm sorry for your pain; that must be a horrible feeling!! You can't force someone to love you, which I know you understand. I know how hurt you are right now, but it really will get better. Do you have any friends you can have some fun with? Have you thought about putting your energies into something else, like volunteering, a hobby? I know that may seem like a simplistic answer, but it may help to get involved in something other than your pain. There is a guy worthy of your love and in time, when you least expect it, you'll find each other.

 

Well i'm a member of the ATC, and meet a few peeps there, but they live quite a distance away also and i cannot meet with them outside of the unit without great dificulty. I just feel like im trapped alone.

[jna35]

That's an awful feeling!! Give yourself a break though, I mean your feelings are completely normal and understandable. If you feel like the depression is out of hand I would suggest talking to someone, like a counselor. They may be able to help you or point you in the direction of a support group.

[arwen]

Hey Noo_noo,

 

Welcome on enotalone! How about the place where you live, maybe you can join some group there, like a sportsteam, a reading society or even a volunteer job where you meet other students?

 

I can see how you are devastated by the actions of your ex. The way you describe it here, gives the impression that you handled things really maturely. He didn't.

 

As for you history of depression, have you had counselling for that? I had to go through several break ups with the same ex while I was clinically depressed. Of course this feels even worse than you ever felt before-- but keep in mind that the depressed feelings that occur with a breakup are temporarily. You sound like one strong woman to me, and things will get better in time, really.

 

Take care,

 

Ilse.

[Noo_Noo]

Hey Noo_noo,

 

Welcome on enotalone! How about the place where you live, maybe you can join some group there, like a sportsteam, a reading society or even a volunteer job where you meet other students?

 

I can see how you are devastated by the actions of your ex. The way you describe it here, gives the impression that you handled things really maturely. He didn't.

 

As for you history of depression, have you had counselling for that? I had to go through several break ups with the same ex while I was clinically depressed. Of course this feels even worse than you ever felt before-- but keep in mind that the depressed feelings that occur with a breakup are temporarily. You sound like one strong woman to me, and things will get better in time, really.

 

Take care,

 

Ilse.

 

Well the ATC is in my home town, and now that it is summer is probably the only time i get to go out of the house, other than when i do karate also in my town, but i don't tend to meet others at either of tehse places due to them living a distance away.

 

Ive been through the usual routes of depression; counselling, psychiatrists etc. but it's never really helped.

[arwen]

 

 

Maybe find a summerjob? I work as a temp now during summer and I met so many great people there... although I'd still prefer an actual holiday of course.

 

Forgive me if I suggest things that are impossible. I have no idea about the place you live in and I was born and raised in a big city and lived the last 7 years in yet another big city. The city has the advantage of more social places and meeting new people every day by just taking the bike in the evening and go to a pub.

 

Take care,

 

Ilse.

[Noo_Noo]

No it's not that it's impossible, since i can get the bus to the nearest city, it's just that i can't get a job since none are avainlable, ive been to agencies and everything.