New here and looking for some help

[DarknHandsome]

Well me and my gf have been dating 6 months as of today actually and just last thursday we lost our virginity to eachother. It hurt her real bad, because in her wisdom her guy friend suggested just going for it instead of having some foreplay to help loosen it some beforehand. But anyways.. we did it again today and I have noticed a disturbing pattern of behavior.. she gets "bored" when i am trying to please her. She said today she just felt a little pain at first as i was going in, but then she didnt really feel anything and i was hoping for some help.

 

The first time I fingered her she said it was the best she has ever had, and still maintains that. And i found out it was because she said it was fast and consistant, so I was wondering if maybe that is my problem? Also i was hoping for some oral sex tips and etc. I have trouble accessing her clitoris, so trying to find it without her getting bored of me tinkering around down there is challenging Im looking for advice that may help a woman who has never had an orgasm and has these kinds of troubles. Its beginning to worry me, because i think she is starting to give up on deriving pleasure from sexual activity (which is odd considering she has a strong libido) and she is starting to give up and just say she does it for me. I dont really care about my own sexual needs cause i know i got those covered, i just want to please her now.

 

Another problem i have is i tend to go pretty fast i heard thats usual for guys to take a few times to build up an endurance, but in the case that it continues does anyone have any tips for helping me with that?

 

but ya, its just really frustrating to try all this stuff to please her only to find out later that she was bored (the day im bored with my penis in a vagina, i will shoot myself)

*btw this word filter kinda sucks.. i mean if we are talking about sex its pretty likely we have seen or heard those slang terms before..

 

thanks ahead of time!

[dpressedone89]

well you can ask her what she likes, she knows more than anyone else on that subject, as far going to fast, there are a bunch of exercises you can do.like flex the muscles you use to stop peeing and hold that for like 5 seconds do that a few times. check fitness magazines there are dozens of articles about it.

 

as far as the word filter goes, most of us know alot of those words but this forum alows people starting at like age 13 so thats part of the reason to keep it clean.

-much luck

[thegirl_00]

you guys are both beginners so ask her what she wants. The best thing possible for a sexual relationship is to be open with eachother.

Going fast is very usual for people who havent had sex in a long time and expecially if you've never had sex before. Clearly your girlfriend will understand and it will slowely take you longer and longer for you to blow your load. haha. Good luck bud.

[DarknHandsome]

issue with her though is i dont think she knows what she likes :S but i guess theres time to figure it out. Thanks for the advice so far!

[DarknHandsome]

err there is bit of a complication now...We had sex for the first time last thursday, her period was supposed to start on sunday and it is now tuesday! She is usually pretty punctual with it. Yesterday we had sex and after she had to pee and noticed a lot of blood and thought it was from her period starting, but she messaged me this morning to tell me she didnt bleed at all through the night and shes not on her period.

 

When we did it thursday i used a condom, but now im worried that maybe some semen still got in by spilling out or a tear i didnt see. Is it normal to be off the first time?

 

Im worried she could be hurt internally somehow or pregnant. She's told me after that day that if she were pregnant she would get an abortion despite how i feel about it. I deffinitely dont want a child right now, but i'd rather suck it up and take the heat than have an abortion that is liable to cause us both mental trauma for years to come.

 

 

[RayKay]

She is probably fine. But stressing out which is causing her period to be "late". Is it ALWAYS regular in the first place as many times women's periods will vary by a few days here and there? She can take a test now, but the dates don't really match up with her getting pregnant and if she "was pregnant" from that time, the egg would not have implanted yet anyway or would just have so a test is not accurate. Always "possible" but I would say it is more stress that is delaying it then anything else.

 

Bleeding could of been spotting, or broken hymen, or some abrasions to cervix which is pretty normal first few times you have sex.

 

But....here is something you need to discuss. If you both have different ideas on what to do should there be a pregnancy in the future, you should probably not be having sex honestly. Because if she were to get pregnant, she does not need your consent to do as she wants with that baby, and you need to be prepared for that possible outcome, as even with protection there is always a risk.

 

She should consider going on birth control pill/nuva ring or something in addition to using condoms for extra protection.

[Shadows Light]

She's probably fine. As the previous poster wrote... its probably due to not being used to having sex that she's spotting.

 

My first time I was really late on my period... a few weeks. Nerves? I don't know.

 

I do know.. most women ovulate between day 10-14... this is when a woman drops an egg into fallopean tube. During this time... she is the MOST FERTILE.

 

The way you count days... is the day she starts her period.. is counted as day number one. Usually there's a 28 day cycle on average.

 

Soooo... if she is on a 28 day cycle. And you messed around on Thursday.... and you used a condom. The likelyhood of her being pregnant is slim.

 

She's just nervous and new to this as you are. Heck, I thought I was pregnant my first round too. I think its probably a common occurrence amongst the newly deflowered.

 

Do yourselves a favor. Do look in the phonebook for a planned parenthood clinic. Have her go in. Talk to someone. And get educated on contraceptive. Better safe than sorry.

[DarknHandsome]

thanks, that is incouraging shadow light. She is sure she isnt pregnant but is just really frustrated that she hasnt had her period yet (and it makes me pretty uneasy too) Not sure if she is just in denial, but the odds were pretty slim considering it was at a time of the month when she is less fertile, shes on a pain drug that makes her less fertile, i was using a condom, any residue that might have got past it all could have got flushed out with the blood. But it IS still a possibility and its kinda nerve wracking

[Shadows Light]

Dark...thats understandable. Thats why after this month.. if you descide that you want to continue as lovers... do yourselves a favor and have her look into alternative contraceptives. Nothing is fool proof but.. its less nerve wracking. Being this on edge and worried will shadow your experiences together. And who needs that right?

[DarknHandsome]

i think we have decided to stop and wait until we are engaged to have sex again, since i dont think we were really ready for this. And ya i think we will deffinitely look into getting her on the patch or pills or something