Guess that means I've lost...

[Süsser Tod]

I broke up with my GF something like 2 months ago.

 

She broke NC with the excuse of having a couple of questions. Then we went to take a cofee. Couple of days later we saw again, and I told her I wanted to get back with her. Obviously she blew me away, saying that she has found this new life (party girl) and that she is extremely happy.

 

Well, we hung out for most of the sunday, then saw her monday morning and went to take a cup of cofee...

 

 

And I saw her again today in the morning, asked her to the movies, and she blew me away..

 

She - I'm going to the movies wiht my friends tonight

Me - Can I come?

She - No!

Me - Why?

She - I want to spend time with my friends, you aren't my boyfriend!

Me - I'm sorry, I haven't seen you in a couple of days

She - Sorry, I'm not behaving properly, I'm asking you to do things...

Me - Sorry, I won't bother you again

 

And then I left.

 

When I got home I sent her this text message:

 

Goodbye X I really wish you the best for your life. I may have been a fool for trying to get you back, but I don't deserve being treated like cr*p.

 

 

Guess she isn't going to reply, so that means it is over and there won't be any chances to get back together...

 

 

So oficially I've lost...

[Hope75]

Sorry Tod, it sounds like she really wasn't interested in getting back with you if she was treating you like that.

 

You are better off to know now, rather than waste any more efforts on trying to win her back.

 

A good, healthy relationship requires two people who care about each other and both want to work it out, and you know that one person can't do the work for both.

 

Best of luck, now you have a direction to walk in when your feet hit the ground.

[cassiana]

You have just lost a battle (this girl) but you can still win the war (love).

I read somewhere once that you never lose until you have given up.

Sometimes people think that doing nothing is giving up. Sometimes doing nothing is what you must do and is very hard.

 

Good luck.

[Süsser Tod]

You have just lost a battle (this girl) but you can still win the war (love).

I read somewhere once that you never lose until you have given up.

Sometimes people think that doing nothing is giving up. Sometimes doing nothing is what you must do and is very hard.

 

Good luck.

 

 

Give up, that is what I've done.

 

 

It is very hard to realize she doesn't want me around anymore. That means I've lost the only person that used to care about me...

 

 

By now Giving up on love wasn't an option, was the only way. I know I'm not going to meet anyone else (antisocial bipolar guy, you know, girls love it!), so I rather not think about it anymore, as I perfectly know it is not going to happen.

[cassiana]

You are supposed to give up on the battle (this relationship) not on yourself.

You have problems, well try and improve on them. try to be less anti-social. All girls are different. We have our problems too. We don't all want Brad Pitt( have you ever heard him interviewed).

 

Das Tod ist nicht so suss.

[Süsser Tod]

I've been trying to fix myself for almost 27 years, with little or no success at all. I gave up on me a long time ago. I had been trying to find a little love for quite a bit of years, and, well...

 

You know? It would have been easier if I had never understood what it is. As back then all I could do was long for something I dind't knew nor understood, now I miss it.

 

Ich lebe mein Tod, Tag für Tag

[cassiana]

I hate to be pedantic but if you have been trying to fix yourself for almost 27 years but gave up a long time ago, well you couldn't have spent almost 27 years trying.

You can never stop trying. You will never find love if you stop trying.

How can a woman love you if you don't love yourself. that's love 101.

 

Jeden Tag du ubst Tod, warum ubst du nicht das leben?

[Süsser Tod]

Ja! She just replied to my text message...

 

Answer was beautifull: "OK"

 

 

Damn! Its really hard to be here at the office when all I want to do is cry.

 

Weil ich wirklich mich nicht mehr interessiere, bin ich gerecht, diesen Tag wartend...

 

 

Edit: By the way, I did gave up a long time ago, I just keep trying to. Stupid me still has a little bit of faith deep inside.

[hockeyboy]

why'd you break up with her in the first place?

[cassiana]

That's a fairly harsh remark to make. Maybe her behaviour is a reaction to her experience. You must realise this probably hurt her alot.

[lifeiscash]

Well I'm not going to bash you, this isn't my intention but c'mon now.. you gotta get your two feet together and act like a MAN! Be the man you know you can be.. be the type of guy that sticks up for himself and that thinks positive about himself. I'm honestly not trying to be mean when i say this.. but you are acting sooo WEAK!!

 

She - I'm going to the movies wiht my friends tonight

Me - Can I come?

She - No!

Me - Why?

She - I want to spend time with my friends, you aren't my boyfriend!

Me - I'm sorry, I haven't seen you in a couple of days

She - Sorry, I'm not behaving properly, I'm asking you to do things...

Me - Sorry, I won't bother you again

 

When I read that, two words come to my mind: Neediness and Desperate. You are begging/asking her for permission for you to do something. Stop being so submissive, girls don't like it when guys act weak. Get in control of yourself and don't let her bring you down. Sounds to me you have a major self esteem issue that you might be dealing with. The best thing to do is get in touch with yourself and challenge yourself in a way that gives you motivation and makes you BETTER.

Stop worrying so much about this girl, she isn't your reality. She is only a guest in your reality. Be in control of yourself and in control of all your sitations. Why do you have to ask her to do something, who is SHE to tell you what you can and cannot do?

Even without her you will be just fine, but if you totally give up on yourself then what's the point of it all? If you completley gave up then you wouldn't be here typing to us. My honest advice to you is.. stop being so weak.. be a MAN, do what MEN do.. not women. You can do this, I believe you have the insticts too.. if anything ... do this.. be more SELF-CENTERED, your the only one that matters neway.

[Süsser Tod]

Am I being weak? Yes, I think so, she had control of the situation...

 

 

Not anymore (not that she really cares, anyway).

 

 

Yes, I gave up on me, but I still have those instincts telling me to try to be happy. I see all the people around laughing, with a smile on their faces, and I want to be like them! Then I try it and reality comes and smacks me, then I have to face the truth, where I can't be like them...

 

 

What is a "MAN" to do in this situation? Return back to my little world that includes myself and no one else, try to survive and...

 

Thats what I've been doing for most of my life.

[Süsser Tod]

That's a fairly harsh remark to make. Maybe her behaviour is a reaction to her experience. You must realise this probably hurt her alot.

 

Well, she just told me that she had sacrificed a lot to be with me, but now she wants to experience that life. The part about a BF standing on her way, she told it to me, exactly like that.

 

Maybe I made her hate me so much that now she is running into a lifestile where she knows I won't be around...???

[cassiana]

Look my Ex suffers from depression and has put me through hell. I cut him slack and was patient. All he thought about was his feelings it never occurred to him that I had any. When he reconciled and then broke up by simple not telling me I finally lost my temper and said some very strong things to him. Not because i didn't like him but because they were true. He wallows in self-pity. No matter how much I care for him I cannot fix him. I would love if he fixed himself and came back to me. But until then its hard words from em and alot of truthsaying. My kind words didn't help and were thrown back in my face.

[Süsser Tod]

Well, I tried not to be like that when I was around her. But she felt she could not have any friends of her own, blamed me for making her more depressed/bored, and bored her.

 

Guess she had enough of me and now, maybe, she is being who she truly had been all this time.

 

I'vee been trying to fix myself, now I'm going at the Gym (I've lost like 8 pounds so far), went to a party with the people from the office (for first time after working here for almost a year), bought me a new motorcycle! But have still been unable to make new friends...

 

I think that the breakup was kind of a wakeup call, I've tried to improve what is at my reach, but guess still wasn't enough for her.

[cassiana]

Dear Tod

 

Fixing yourself should be for yourself. If you are only doing it to win her back you will fail. I know if my ex changed his appearance its still wouldn't help assuage my fears that he would slip into his old ways as soon as he got what he wanted. Form what you write there is alot of resenment under the surface. She would perceive your attitude and keep well away.

[Süsser Tod]

Well, I'm not changing for her, I'm doing it for myself. I started most of it even before we broke NC, and I never thought of breaking NC.

 

In fact, she broke the NC, and she did quite an effort to do it. The thing is, I live with my parents (the usual thing in Mexico, you don't move out until you are married), but I have my own phone line. She used to call to my phone and my cellphone and I never picked up the call. One day she called my parent's number! So there comes my mom with the phone on one hand "X wants to talk to you..."

 

I wasn't planing it, in fact, back then I was quite convinced that I should never see her again. I had already purchased a membership for a sports club, was going to the gym, had bought myself a new motorcycle (an old and cheap one, but quite better than what I previously had), etc.