Please.....I need as much support as possible

[hurtwou]

ok...so I txt my ex last night telling him how much I care about him, and that when he is ready to talk he could call me...I told him i would not call him anymore. I do care about him, and he may have done things I didnt approve of, and that hurt me, but I could never hate him for it. because I had my share of hurting and decieving when it came to him. We both made mistakes....so now how do I keep to my word and not call him when I feel the need to...I told him I respect him and Ill give him space

[xixilovergirlxixi]

if u feel the real need to call. then call but if he gtes mad just hang up the phone

[hurtwou]

I cant do that.....first off that will ruin everything im tryin to do...im tryin to prove to him that i respect his feelings, and that I wont bug him to be with me

[xixilovergirlxixi]

why did u all break up if u dont min me asking?

[Hope75]

Hurt,

 

You've said what you needed to say to him, now try to give him space and time to figure out what he wants.

 

Let him miss you a little.

 

Hang in there, you know you have our support.

[hurtwou]

ok..he was a great boyfriend he really was, but I have trust problems....I always wanted to know where he was, and I questioned his everymove....It got to the point where he couldnt stand me....were friends now, but its weird I know he still cares about me.....

[plasticheartsandsmiles]

I totally agree. You've told him exactly how you feel and how much you care and how you WONT CALL ANYMORE, so don't. if you don't stick to your word it will make you look desperate, clingy, dependent, and needy. All of these things are unattractive, especially to someone you WANT to attract. I can totally understand your frustration because I have been there before, but its really best to stay strong and give him his space. He might need to figure things out on his own -- away from you. If you smother him he won't have to re-evaluate how his life has changed without you. Its going to be very hard and there are going to be times when you almost feel a physical NEED to speak to him but when you get those urges do something else -- read a book, watch a movie, go visit friends, just get your mind off of it.

 

It may sound bad, but if he never calls you back or gets back in touch with you, you haven't lost as much as you think. It will hurt, trust me, but if he doesnt put forth the same effort you're putting forth over time, its really not worth anymore heartache.

 

best of luck to you

[xixilovergirlxixi]

you have to learn to trust him. if he loved you he would not cheat on you. i have been with the name guy for 2 years and i still dont trust him to the fullest but i dont question his every move its 11:30 pm and im exhausted but im not going to bed until his loud truck rolls in my drive way and he is safe in my bed with me. thats just how iam!

[kskm]

Under no circumstances (except death or an accident or serious illness) should you call him. Be a mature adult and keep your word.

 

While he is taking his time to call you keep yourself busy working on yourself from the inside. You can always come on here when you feel like calling him.

 

Also, when I would feel like that with an ex of mine I use to get out my diary and write a note to him and then when I was done I'd read it and then crumple it up and throw it away... it always made me feel better.

[hurtwou]

I wanna be with him so much. Im gonna keep my word no matter what....im not gonna call him...But I just need support to read when im down...thank you all so much...I love u all!!!!

[Hope75]

ok..he was a great boyfriend he really was, but I have trust problems....I always wanted to know where he was, and I questioned his everymove....It got to the point where he couldnt stand me....were friends now, but its weird I know he still cares about me.....

 

this is the kind of behaviour that drives men (or women) away.

 

You aren't his keeper, or his mother, you can't be hawking over his every move like that.

 

You need to take this time and work out within yourself why you had trsut issues with them and try to work those out. He will never want to come back if you are clingy and insecure, it's miserable way to be in a relationship with someone who does not trust you.

 

As kskm said, be an adult and keep your word..... show him that you can be independent and secure.

[smallworld]

Ok, first of all grab a pen and tell Eddie off on paper everytime you feel like calling him. (This isn't for him to read. It's for you to get your feelings out.) Tell him you deserve better and you're not going to let him play games with your heart anymore. Tell him if he wants to be with you he knows where to find you and he knows what to do. Get resolved!!!

 

Play some angry music loudly, Alanis Morrisette's "Jagged Little Pill" is perfect for this and scream/dance along. Get it all out.

 

Box up anything that reminds you of him and bury it in the backyard.

Write a note reminding yourself that you won't accept anything less than love and respect from him and paste these notes on your phone, bathroom mirror, and car dashboard.

 

Write those two lists out I mentioned earlier -- all the good and bad things he's done. Keep reading both until the reality of how's he treated you is seared into your brain. And keep asking yourself "Would I tolerate this same behavior from a friend?"

[iamonlyhuman]

Hang in there, you can do it and stick to your word!!

NC is very hard it tests your self discipline to the maximum, its an exercise of pure patience and a chance to heal which is so important.

 

You giving him the silence treatment will also leave alot to his imagination.

"when you're dealing with peoples insecurities and self doubts, imagination is always the best tool."

 

I think telling the person he or she is in danger of loosing you is less effective as letting that person wonder.

Also if you never let the one you want experience the pain of WITHDRAWAL by losing you for a while, they might NEVER become aware of just how hooked they are on you!

 

thats my 2 cents...