what do you do when your friends dont like eachother

[catgirl82]

i wonder if anyone else knows how i feel- i seem to always get stuck in this position. im a really friendly person and i like to have alot of friends. i dont really judge people and i tend to be close with alot of people from lots of different circles.

 

however, sometimes this backfires on me. i have this one friend, who i'll admit, is a little bit cold, closed off, just a little bit of a downer. but, shes still a good person and i consider her a friend. BUT alot of my other friends dont like having her around because they think she's a downer. so what am i supposed to do when this "downer" friend calls me up and asks me what im doing on a saturday night- i have plans w/ my other friends. they dont like her. i dont want to lie to her and say im staying in. so i invited her to come.

 

she has no idea that these girls dont like her- shes oblivious

 

now i feel like my friends are annoyed. this is NOT the first time this has happened- i was in a similar situation in high school with one of my close friends. my other friends didnt like her b/c they thought she was obnoxious and dorky. but shes also a nice girl with a good heart.

 

i hate how people can be so judgemental. i feel so stuck in the middle all the time- like its my job to make eveyrone happy and get along. i feel like my friends are so immature, why cant we all just grow up and get along, arggg!!

[STARSHINE42]

Hey,

 

I can definatley relate. My whole life I have been in similiar situations. Mine was I pretty much have had the same 3 best friends since middle school. and gradually they all just hated eachother. So my only option was to spend time with them seperatley. of course you would like to hang out will your group of friends and this "downer" all together. But sometimes thats not possible.

My advise is, try talking to your friends to give your other friend a chance. If that doesn't work out, the best thng I can tell you is make plans seperatly. Hope it works out.

[loveydovey]

Yeah, maybe you could go with some plans that have been pre-arranged with her then with your other group of friends.

 

I'm in a somewhat similar situation myself, except its slightly flipped....my one friend doesn't like hanging out with my other group of friends very much and I have no clue why. She gets verrry offended when I do things with other people and feel like I'm blowing her off. But since she doesn't necessarily like hanging out with my other friends, she won't want to come along! And then she'll start questioning our friendship and asking do I still like her as a person and a whole bunch of nonesense. I just don't get that. We hang out a lot and have been friends for 10 years! I don't know....I guess she's insecure

[catgirl82]

loveydovey

strangely enough that is EXACTLY what my roommate does to me. we've been friends since the 7th grade (we're both out of college now) and whenever i hang out with friends from grad school, she has the same reaction.

 

i guess im experiencing these friend wars in every way possible, soo annoying!

[loveydovey]

Yep. We've been friends since 7th or 8th grade too. I would ask you for some advice on that but it looks like we're in the same boat! But wow, you got that thing going on and and the other thing going on. You are good, my friend because with all that, I'd be a little right about now. I'm the kind of person that cares a whooole lot about my friends and their well-being.