Boring conversations with him

[Radiant41]

On 1/13/2023 at 2:24 PM, Betterwithout said:

It's funny, we all talk "compatibility" and rightly so.. since it's a key component to someone we spend lots of time around.

I can share a personal story on the subject.
Years back, after being married for 2 years, my wife and I had a chance to go to Paris.
One thing we agreed on is to check out The Louvre to see priceless works of art.
So we got our tickets and started looking around.  I like art museums and the Louvre is world class.
She wanted to see The Mona Lisa. (along with the other million visitors)
So, we scurried quickly past the breathtaking works of art to get to see it in person.  
We took our obligatory selfies, amongst the many others from all corners of the world.
After about an hour after entering the museum, her next wish was to leave.
"I said, but this is only one wing of the building, there is so much more to see".
Her response was "it smells weird in here, can we just go?".   I was put off, but didn't want to ruin things, realizing it wasn't her thing.  I didn't know art and culture weren't important to her since we were relatively newly married.

Wanna know what we did after leaving the Louvre?

She wanted to buy shoes.   (She loves shopping)
We spent about 3 hours shopping for shoes and other things.
Of course, I was trying to rationalize why it was ok that I stood on the sidelines shopping with her for 3 hours, doing "her thing", while we only spend one hour doing my thing.  She can shop at a million shops at home, how about the Louvre which isn't on our doorstep at home, or even spending the time outdoors in the wonderful romantic city of Paris?
I really started to wonder about compatibility.
A few arguments happened months later at home about differences of opinion, etc.
About a year after Paris, I was really questioning the marriage and if I married the wrong person.

Our intimacy levels never really lined up since I first met her, so I was ready to throw in the towel.

I went alone to a therapist and told the above story.  She didn't have any advice for me.

It was a really tough struggle since I don't think we are compatible on some levels, but on others, we are.  THAT is what I focus on.  We have been married for 9 years now
......and we're not planning on any museum trips together anytime soon!  🙂

Hopefully you are compatible in other ways with this guy.  Maybe he is awesome in the sack!


 

Lol, I appreciate your humor.  And very much appreciate your experience and advice.  It helps me to see, that yes, initially we can question, and do question it at times, but when there is enough in common you focus on that.