Will she ever contact me?

[hockeyboy]

it sucks, I miss her alot..I thought NC is supposed to make you heal not miss them more. I know I shouldn't think of her, but it is hard...i'm talking like every day...not too much like depressing or anything, but I still hink of her alot

 

its like working out, building muscle. to get there you need to work through the pain, but afterwards you feel a lot better, a lot stronger

[heartbroken23]

Thanks Hockey..I know..I can't tell you how much better I feel compared months ago...but I don't know how long it takes to get over someone you trully love. I guess it is just like an emotional rollercoaster...really good days, good days, and bad days....

[hockeyboy]

Thanks Hockey..I know..I can't tell you how much better I feel compared months ago...but I don't know how long it takes to get over someone you trully love. I guess it is just like an emotional rollercoaster...really good days, good days, and bad days....

 

i dated a girl for 4 years..took me 8 solid months to get over her

 

i dated another girl for a year and it took me about the same amount of time

 

however...from the time i flat out choose to cut them out of my life...it only took a few weeks

[punchy504]

yeah it's definitely time for you to just move on- enough with the drama already, don't contact her, she has a boyfriend; she is not going to contact you. sad but true, that's the way it is.

[heartbroken23]

ok so you think she will never contact me again? What are your reasons for thinking this. Did you read my entire post? Thanks

[hockeyboy]

ok so you think she will never contact me again? What are your reasons for thinking this. Did you read my entire post? Thanks

 

just assume she wont. i assume my ex will never call me again (could be wrong) but i also know that if i picked up the phone right now and called her, she would probably pick up. but i dont want to....but knowing that i can helps me keep on not wanting to

[sadbaboon]

Man, I'm with you on this one. How do you know if she'll ever ring? You love her but she's with somone else - that is mind-boggling and how are you supposed to deal with it? It looks like shes getting on with her life (while giving you signs that she not) but you're still waiting for her.

 

Dude, I have little advice. I would like to say "moving on is the best thing to do". It makes sense - it lets you forget her while at the same time giving her a chance to see what she is missing. But how can you motivate yourself to move on if you're thnking that this is partly a strategy to get her back? Its a paradox and it sucks. As an observer I've gotta say that is however, what you've got to strive for, day in and day out.

 

I would not call or email her. From what you've said and done she knows how you feel and that you're there. If she comes back then you don't want a half-baked relationship - you want a strong one. And that means she has got to make the moves. Sh*t, I know - but true.

 

Again I'm not one to talk but be proud of yourself and make that change in your life so that you choose a new path, away from the old one. Be proud that you can stand on your own two feet and not rely on her. Think that in years to come you will want to look back on this and say "f**k me, I handled that whole situation in a sound way". I know quotes can be tacky but Confucius (who was a fairly intelligent chap after all) was quite right in saying "our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail".

 

Sorry - not much help but even though I don't know you and possibly never will - I feel for you big time and I hope that you know that everyone here is thinking of you man.

[heartbroken23]

baboon,

 

Thank you so much for all that you said. I really appreciate the advice. What you said, and what most people said is exactly what I plan on doing. I guess I just really need to hear it over and over again for it to sink in and for me to be like" Thats what I have to do". Thanks again man, it means alot. Also much appreciation to everyone else that gave advice.

[settinuplife]

I am in the same boat as you almost. I am doing NC w/my ex because she finally told me she didn't want to be w/me, she would still give me some mixed signals, and I do know she is still attracted to me which is good if you want her back. I finally told her after 9 mos. of being broken up that I didn't want to talk to her again so I could heal (I told her through an email). She didn't like that at all and got pissed. She tried to call me a few days later, but I did not answer (no messages). I just got sick of her dating others, while I was primed and ready to get back together. It was too painful to watch her date others. I have not heard from her in a month and we have not gone more than 2 days in the past year and some months without talking. She is mad I know and she knows how I felt about getting back together (they always do).

 

I don't think she will want to get back together with you if you're her friend because you are too available and people like challenges. I was way too available to my ex and I know she didn't want me back because of it. She even said to me "your not a challenge" when we were friends, and she likes challenges. She will respect you with what you are doing and you will become more valuable to her because she know you are moving on. I know my ex misses me even though she still probably hates me, but if she still hates me then good, that means she still has feelings for me.

 

You have a better chance now that you are doing NC than being her friend. My ex is very stubborn as well and I know she will probably not call me just to teach me a lesson. If she does not call you then I would call her in about 3 months or whenever the feelings have faded away, then if she doesn't want to talk to you you will already be over her anyway so it won't bother you as much. If she doesn't want to talk to you in 3 months than you will know that she probably still has feelings for you, and if she talks to you - even better.

 

Yeah, stubborness sucks when both sides are trying to win. It's a tough one. Hang in there though, you are doing the right thing. She needs time to miss you and she hasn't yet because you were always there. When your ex starts thinking of you again (which she will) she will sniff around and wonder what you are doing and will most likely want to get back together if she's still attracted to you. That is always what happened in my case, one day I will think of the ex, then it will grow and I will think of them more and more, then I will miss her soo much and want to find her to get back together, why? because I havent seen the ex in so long or talked to her and I miss her. "Don't know what you got till it's gone." Good luck