Relationship vent and advice

[Summer2424]

I'll try to make this as short as possible. I started dating my boyfriend 10 months ago. During covid we've pretty much stuck to each other's covid bubbles and due to working from home we've spent a lot of time together. He's now working outside the home so I've been staying at his place a lot. 

He's been on the outs with family and asked to spend Thanksgiving together. I planned a trip to see him for that, he lives a few hours away. We decided I'd stay for a few weeks. During that time, he invited me to meet his grandparents over our holiday break in December. The plan was to stay in a hotel and meet them outside, we're taking covid very seriously bc I'm high risk. 

Fast forward a few weeks, things began to be strained and he started pulling away more. He needs alone time, which I totally understand and he finally voiced that he was ready for a few days to himself. I'm fine with that but it happened suddenly and driving a few hours during the crazy work week was difficult so I planned to leave on the weekend. I want to respect his need for alone time but also not inconvenience myself during the worst few weeks of work of the year. The problem is when he's obviously ready for me to leave it seems like I don't get a lot of warning. He goes from very sweet and lots of hugs etc to distant. And he usually doesn't voice it, I can just tell. But he'll ask when I'm thinking of leaving a lot or drop hints. 

Fast forward, I got very sick and stayed another week  i am still waiting on a covid test and am still sick. He keeps asking when I think I'll be ok to drive, but I voiced I'm not only not able to drive yet but I'm concerned about bringing possible covid back to my family I live with. He seems to understand but the asking when I think I'll be ready to go and other hints he's ready for me to leave stress me out. 

I almost feel like going to a hotel so I don't feel in the way. Over the summer, I spent 2 months at his place when he asked me to and it wasn't a big deal. But now it feels like it is and I've overstayed my welcome. I know we've both had a ton of work stress recently, I just don't know how to explain the stress it causes me being sick at his place and not knowing what to do about covid. And feeling in the way but not able to drive for hours yet due to being too sick. 

Tonight he also casually mentioned that his entire family will be at the holiday gathering  and that's what he's doing for the holidays. It'll be indoors so he assumed I didn't want to go with covid concerns. I think what bothered me the most is that he changed plans with his family the other day and didn't bother to tell me, when we had already planned on going together. I was looking forward to spending some time together over holiday break when we both aren't working. I won't get another work break for a long time. And now with him being around so many people, I can't see him until he quarantines for a bit. I don't want him to pick me over his family at all but I think the fact we had plans and he changed them without even a conversation hurts. Makes me feel like my plans I make don't matter. He said I was still invited but knew I wouldn't want to go. I just feel like my plans don't matter to him?

He did say he spent Thanksgiving with me instead of family. He was depressed over Thanksgiving, understandably and I did tell him that while I definitely enjoyed that time, that wasn't his choice, he wasn't talking to family at that time. 

Things have been good but I just feel like stress has built up and things have changed. I'm also feeling like l put too much into the relationship and lost myself a little. I think I put him first, and now I'm seeing maybe he does too? Am I being unreasonable with my expectations?

I plan to take a step back now and focus on myself during the holiday. I feel like my strong reaction with disappointment was unreasonable but at the same time, with my stress level recently, I think I was holding on to a fun holiday plan and relaxation time with him.