In 5-yr relationship but crushing on friend/housemate-Yikes!

[dreamadonna1]

My partner and I have been together for 5 years now, and we recently purchased our first home. We're both very excited about it, and I am happy in the relationship and very much in love with her, but have recently become concerned about feelings that I've developed for another person. We decided, shortly before moving into the house, to rent one of the bedrooms to a friend of ours who will be living with us for about a year. I've always found this person attractive but now that she's living with us, I have had her SERIOUSLY on the brain.

 

I usually think fantasies are pretty healthy, but I feel like I'm really spending a lot of time wondering what could happen with her and imagining kissing her, or better yet, being in a threesome with her and my partner. But my partner would never, NEVER go for that, and I feel wrong for even thinking of it.

 

I highly doubt I'd actually DO anything with these thoughts and fantasies, even if my friend was even interested (which I don't know, although sometimes I wonder...) or the opportunity ever presented itself, but I know that keeping your mind on something for a while can lead to things that shouldn't happen. Any suggestions on how to get past all these thoughts without completely losing it and talking to my friend (or partner for that matter) about them, which I'm prone to do out of guilt and the want to release some of my feelings about why I'm thinking this way?

[twizod]

Keep telling yourself the grass ain't always greener on the other side of the fence. Keep in mind the outcome of your actions, if you choose to act, would be far worse then the fun you get out of it.

[dreamadonna1]

Yeah, you're definitely right about the grass not always being greener. I've seen examples of that in enough other relationships and situations to know that I don't want to end up in regret. Thanks for the advice.

[CityHunter]

I have to admit

1) I meet Girl #1 at work

2) I had a major crush on another girl #2 at work in another campus/location

3) Girl #2 turns out to be Girl #1's cousin. (I have no idea until much much later)

4) Girl #2 is my GF now......

5) My GF told me intimate details of Girl #2 (her cousin)

 

At least your "crush" will eventually move out and she'll eventually get out of your mind.

 

For my case, my crush will always be in my life! I will sit opposite her in the family gathering table and got reminded she is something I cannot have.

It didn't help that the cousin is prettier and skinner, and had a better figure., not to mention more feminine too......Unfortunately she's very devoted to her dead beat BF.......

She can go on long trips with her BF, and my GF is not allowed to go on any overnight trips with me...... (it's a long story)

She had no studient loan left and bought a car, while my BF still have a staggering $25,000 student loan!@#)!@#)!@#

 

Consider yourself lucky.

[CityHunter]

Sorry,

Correction to 4) Girl #1 is my GF Now.

 

See how easy it is to slip.....

[dreamadonna1]

I guess that's true, once our housemate leaves, I'll probably think of her less and less, which is good. I definitely think that her being here, coupled with the fact that I was attracted to her to begin with, makes it hard to get her out of my head. It IS hard when you have to see the person all the time. My condolences to you. Good luck!