ok i need help like now!!

[chica_amber]

hello,

well, i need help. my 14 year old sister seems to get all the guys around here. and well, im jealous. im 16 and i havent even been in a serious relationship with a guy, havent kissed anyone, havent even been on a date with a group.for me it is totally umm...unbareable. i cant stand it. i hardly know any guys at my church except for her friends. and i dont make friends easily. so, its kinda hard. plus im shy as heck. i clam up in person, but over the internet in chatrooms im totally outgoing. what is the matter with me? can anyone help me? this is not what i want to be like. around my sisters' friends im crazy and can be myself but around anyone else, except my very few frinds who i hardly know, im a shy girl who looks at the floor when she walks. yea, i know im pretty, but i dont feel it. and well, i break out on my forehead all the time out of stress. (my mom is constantly in the hospital or in pain). please help me!!!

[megawattsmile2001]

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[chica_amber]

lol.. well, see, my sister and i look a like alot. we have the same eyes and stuff. she likes to show a lot of skin sometimes(shes not a slut AT ALL!!) and shes tried to help me but, it never works out. and i dont know if any guys think im pretty or not. im real skinny because of fast metabolism and it runs on both sides of the family. and well, ppl think im anerexic or something, but im not. and well, its been kinda hard for me. and the break outs. my sister hasnt had one single zit pimple or any other thing made up of dirt or makeup or anything. shes even a model!! we both tried out. i didnt make the first cut. my hair was too frizzy or thick or my teeth werent straight enough for them. it totally sux. i hate it!! how come i cant look like my perfect lil sister? it drives me crazy cause shes sooo perfect to everyone else. she even has "the perfect butt for a white girl" "its nice and round." thats all i hear from her guy friends!! aaahhhhh!!

[SmintyMinty]

I can totally see where you're coming from! I have an older sister who is only 2 years older than me and all through my teens she used to get all the guys! I was kinda jealous of her and in awe cos she seemed to have been out with so many guys and seemed so experienced! I was constantly thinking when is it gonna be my turn?!? When are guys gonna notice me??? It got to the point where I hated hanging out with her as it just made me feel down about myself. She was always the gorgeous one who all the guys went for. She was really popular all through high school and everyone wanted to be her friend and I wanted to be like her. I thought of myself as the shy, ugly nerd who couldn't talk to blokes at all and found it hard to make new friends. I felt totally in her shadow, really insignificant and unimportant compared to her. I couldn't help comparing myself to her and finding myself coming up short.

 

Now we're both a lot older I see things a lot differently! You won't be in your sister's shadow forever though it feels like that now! Although it is only natural that you compare yourself to your sis, you have to realise that you are two completely separate people with different strengths and qualities and good things going for each of you. As you get older you will be more independent of each other, make new friends, move on, do different things, go/move to different places and you will have a chance to shine!

 

I spoke to her years later and told her all those things I used to believe about her and y'know what I got it so wrong! She always seemed so confident and outgoing but in fact underneath it all she had the same anxieties, insecurities and worries about herself as me! In fact she said she felt added pressure to be popular, be lil Miss Perfect, always look good, get the guys. Perhaps your sister might be feeling the same things. You may find it helps to talk to your sister and share with each other your problems and the way you feel. You might be surprised! I think it's great to have a sister with such a small age gap between us - we're more like good friends and can confide in each other!

 

So stop comparing yourself to your sister! Have confidence in yourself, develop your own interests, try to get out there and make new friends and don't talk yourself down! Think of the great things you have going for you and believe in it! Others will see you for the great person you are!