Any good tips??

[keefy1972]

derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[DragonGirl724]

a lot of us have been there from time to time. just be grateful you are moving forward. the healing time has no limits. everyone deals with it differently. have faith that you will indeed live & love again. i am copying & pasting my response i gave to another forum member:

 

well, there are no set directions to follow...but ill try to give you some pointers.

 

the heart needs time to heal. thats just how it is. and the time it takes to do so varies from person to person.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

if i were you id keep my mind occupied as much as possible....

 

*go out make plans with friends meet new people. you may get over him/her faster than u think.

 

*stay positive & dont torture yourself with sappy music.

 

*find a new hobby, something fun, time consuming & healthy for you & soul.

 

*put his/her pictures away & delete their number from your phone.

 

*restore your faith & find inner peace. its very refreshing & cleansing.

 

*DANCE! & exorcise. its a naturally high & does wonders for self image & self confidence.

 

*i tell members to think about joining a volunteer organization and contribute your hard work & time positively & constructively. its the best feeling in the world.

 

*try to avoid any alcohol or drugs. it many times will get you down just as much as it gets you high...

 

*AND MOST IMPORTANTLY: DONT FIND COMFORT IN YOUR SADNESS.

 

hope this helped.

 

take care.

 

-DG724

[passions1]

Well it depends on your current situation of contact...if you're used to seeing or talking to e/o everyday routine, then you can try simply just tapering it off by talking & seeing her less often to the point where you don't have any contact. And if she noticeds that you 2 are keeping in touch less, then explain to her how you need this time to yourself so you can move on better. Not all ex's need to be friends especially if they were not originally friends b4 becoming a couple. If she can't respect your need for your space, then you can ignore her & eventually she will get tired of having to initiate contact with you & get the hint from what you have already told her b4. Good luck!

[heloladies21]

It's good that you got to this point. You're ready to start the healing process now. Doing No Contact for real helps a lot. No phone calls, emails, text messages, online chat, no nothing either way. If she tries to contact you, ignore it.

 

Concentrate on your career, hit the gym, pick up a few hobbies, hang out with your friends, and most importantly party party party. Flirt with girls, every single one that catches your eye. Dress up well so you have better success with them too. Stick with this plan and you'll feel better in no time. And who knows, you just might find someone who can give you what you're looking for.

 

Now go get em...

[keefy1972]

Thanks alot. Very good advice by all and I will take heed to all suggestions.

[kskm]

I would get a really good friend. You need them in times like these. As I am sure that you already have, just call them up and get busy- not sexually- but go do something. The two worst things that you can do in this situation makes a catch 22. First don't stay at home sulking thinking of the person to where it drives you crazy, but two do not push it out of your head. Watch yourself, make sure this is a healthy break up. Steer away from drugs and alchol, just get a hobby instead. It will all be better in due time- as there are many girls out there that want to get to know you!!! Good Luck.

[Tryingtobestrong]

HI Keefy,

seems like you and I have reached the same state at the same time.

 

Hope we can both stick to our resolutions to move on with our lives and not waste time on hoping we get back together with our exes.

 

Let's keep track of each other and help each other through this.

 

Good luck my friend!

[hockeyboy]

just tell yourself to suck it up because you are the man!

 

challenge yourself...works for me anyways

[djedix]

Set a goal and work towards it.

 

Defenitly get out with friends and meet new people. Talk to people you would never talk to.

 

Listen to music! but not sappy kind. Listen to up beat songs and stuff... your favorite band, or what ever your type is. Get yourself pumping.

 

Better yourself, Do whatever YOU want! your free!

 

You'll have passing thoughts from time to time, but they will pass, and in time your sadness will turn into anger, and slowly fade away

 

relize it's not the end of the world..

 

One MAJOR thing happened around me. A person i work with, a very young person (40ish) came down with a brain tumor, and he's in the hopital, and all messed up. He can't speak correctly, or anything. And the weird thing is he was like the nicest guy, inshape, great job here, everything any guy would want to be, and now he's laying on his deathbed almost.

 

Stuff like that made me think, that my little problem is nothing, AT ALL compared to other peoples problems...

[angel1211]

it's been almost a month since she left me due to uncontrollabe reasons, i guess. no contact does help, it may not seem that way at first, but trust me, if you can make it through a week, you can make it through another. you will definitely have setbacks like a call, email, text, whatever...stay strong and stick to your guns. if you have to, tell her again that you need your space. if she doesnt understand that, then she doesnt respect your feelings. here's what i have done for myself:

 

1. no contact-verbally told her (twice)

2. keep busy and whatever you do, dont stay at home

3. join the gym and take out your frustrations at the gym, plus it helps in

releasing endorphins

4. go out with friends as much as you can, people who care about you and

will boost your ego

5. get a calendar and plan each time for each day for a whole month

6. do something you that you thought you could never do like: parasailing

or something

7. accept what you are feeling: the pain, the sadness

8. dont deny yourself from what you are feeling and at the same dont

dwell on it

9. make short term goals so you can see yourself accomplish them, it will

make you proud of yourself

10. expose yourself to the sun as much as you can, it helps with depression

11. stay away from drinking too much because it will make you more depressed

12. seek a counselor to help you figure out your thoughts. you need someone to steer you into the right direction

 

well, i hope some of this helps. from years of experience and break ups in the past, i used this prescription for myself and i have managed to pull myself out of some very deep holes.

 

good luck and take care