Does he care?

[Onefineday]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 1 and half years. He came as a pleasant surprise in my life. A year prior to meeting I had left a 4 year relationship and was enjoying being single. Two years prior he had just left a 5 year marriage, that didn't go so well.

 

Moving forward, when we met it was magic, we spent every day together for three months, we introduced each other to our families, went on vacations and started thinking about the future within the first 9 months. We were so happy an blissful. Granted we have had some very rocky moments, but love is enduring. We clash as we are both very stubborn and independent, but we admire each other for the same reasons. He is very hard to speak with and I often excuse his behavior knowing his past: difficult childhood, the loss of brother, bad marriage, you name it. He is not the most "emotionally in touch" person around.

 

I had not thought about wanting a family, or the future until he entered my life with so much to offer. We would talk about it and dream about it. Now the past few months I feel like I am the only one making the effort, to call, to go out. When he once couldn't wait to hear my voice it seems like it wouldn't make a difference if a week passed or not. He doesn't do the "little" things if you will. That excitement isn't there. We spoke he other night because I wanted to know and he told me, " I don't think about our future anymore, but I love you". "I just stopped doing the little things because I don't ponder what's going to happen, I don't have the effort anymore".

 

I caught because I love this man, and nothing hurts more than hearing this. When he says that isn't it pretty much over? What's the point in me putting in the effort if there is not hope in his eyes? I don't know to leave because I am obviously not going to get cared for with his same sweetness anymore.

 

I could use some insight.

[kskm]

Well it takes two. Sometimes people just "fall" out of love. No real explaination that can come from me, only him. If you love him try, and try again.

[mataney]

stop trying. he's just used to how things are. you don't know what you had until it's gone. see what happens. if he doesn't realize you are important then it's time to move on. good luck.