In Search Of Confidence

[Celadon]

The techniques of improvisational theater directly address the "I think too much" syndrome. The focus of improv is to tap into the non-analytical side of the brain, bringing out a person's spontaneity and teaching them to trust that part of themselves.

 

Here's one course you could look into, either to take or to get a sense of what improv's about:

 

link removed

 

Have fun!

[Spirits Away]

Regarding that leadership program. I agree to take that step. It brings you to an environment where it can expand without you feeling you're being judged. Just as long as the leader is a good one.

 

There are times when one doesn't want to talk, don't take that as guilt. In a day, I can meet up with people for 3 hours before i feel overwhelmed. And after the 3rd hour, I just slienced myself. I would tell people, "I just want to stay quiet".

 

It's not about whether "I" am good at socializing or not. But if you really want to know, I speak broken english most the time. I often have to focus on completing my sentence. The only thing i know is that each time i have a conversation with someone, my communication skills grew a bit more, and so should yours if you just "dive in".

 

I'm not here to argue with you; I'm here to give you a formula to improve your ability to communicate.

[al7]

 

1. Regarding that leadership program. I agree to take that step.

 

2. I can meet up with people for 3 hours before i feel overwhelmed.

 

3. if you really want to know, I speak broken english most the time. I often have to focus on completing my sentence.

 

4. The only thing i know is that each time i have a conversation with someone, my communication skills grew a bit more, and so should yours if you just "dive in".

 

5. I'm not here to argue with you; I'm here to give you a formula to improve your ability to communicate.

 

1. It is about theatrical improvosation.. not leadership.

2. Interetsing what kind of work you do then...

3. Is it cuz you are tired or English is not you native language?

4. You are a good student than you know how to pick up this social skills.

I often feel some people communicate in a strange monologue manner: I cannot lern anything positive from them. Though I agree if I could talk to people for 3 hours each day.. I would learn a lot!

Usually I do not talk at all....

 

5. Oh that sounds so good.. what is it: the formula?

I agree I have to talk a lot.. I just do not have that nice opportunuity.

What are other ingredients to the formula?

[Spirits Away]

I only know that the people who travels a lot and/or meets a lot of people tends to have a good sophisticated communication skills. If you did not have a good previous history to build that skill up, you're now a conscious adult and can create yourself a good environment for that sole purpose if you like. By the way, it's okay to have monotonous voice. People forgive that.

 

Also, there is one thing that good communicater have. They often have the ability to accept others. Goes in the flow rather than oppose others. I definitely still have trouble with that.

[BillyJean714]

Try getting a job in sales. You're forced to get out of your shell and conversate with people on a superficial level. I tried it, and it's very out of my nature to just talk to anyone, but when I'm forced to, I get used to it.

 

You may think that you lack confidence in terms of public speaking/socializng, but in reality, you just need more opporturnity to practice on your skills. What's funny is, I tend to be on the shy/reserved side, but I actually do very well in sales.

 

Al, practice on being friendly as well. Practice on your non-verbal gestures. One of the things that helps me is to smile. When you smile and people first see that in you, based on first impressions, it's very magnetizing. Use your skills in eye contact.

 

Other things, start off with small talk. Then branch off into other topics. Whatever you do, keep a polite and friendly demeaner. The objective is to always make a conversation with the people that you first meet, a positive experience. If you have any kind of opposing views, politiely add your imput. Try not to be too heated and come off as being argumentative.

 

Anyway, sales helped me out a lot. Plus, I love lookin at how much I make for my employer by the end of the day! Another thing, use your charm with the oppossite sex, when it comes to sales. Men are usually really cool to sell things to. They're not picky when it comes to buying things. Maybe you can take the same approach, and apply it to women. Practice on your charm. Don't try too hard. Just be yourself and go with the flow. Whatever it is, basic approach: eye contact and a smile are a good start. It's inviting. You always want to make a good impression. Don't be an Oscar the Grouch! And, smile like you mean it! Good Luck!

[dw11]

AI I can relate to everything you have said, but I do think you should taske note of what everyone has said. I was very shy when I was in high school, I was embarrased to speak to people incase they might laugh at what I said. I felt like I could relate to what people were talking about but didn't know how to communicate to others about my thoughts.

 

This is the key difference in my opinion between someone who is intorverted and someone who is extroverted...FEAR. I think you live in fear of saying something wrong, of people judging you, of not being interesting enough. This is how I used to feel, but I realised that if I ever wanted to be the person I wanted to be then I needed to change.

 

This did'nt involve changing who I was, just changing how I acted in social situations. Rather than sitting listening and letting others talk, I started joining in, I totally stopped worrying about what people would think and just accpeted that I was inresting, people would be interested in what I had to say and rather than people not accepting you for saying something stupid people actually accept u more.

 

I don't believe its not in your capabilities to do this! You can and you will break your fear of talking to people and will become more outgoing. You are obviously at least reasonably intelligent, you can discuss things with others over the internet in great depth as I have seen in so many of your posts about women, attitudes of women etc yet you can;t do exactly the same thing face to face.

 

So you can make conversation, the fact is ur just TOO SCARED to do so. I know some things I have said are kinda harsh, but its the truth and you can do this on your own without support. However if you still don't believe me then join a theatre group, or get a job sales and for gods sake man just SAY WOT U THINK!

 

I'd love to discuss it with you in more length, anything you want to ask, just private msg me.