How important are semantics and approach?

[dudecar46]

Alright, here is my story. I really like this girl, but I am no prince charming and I lack the ability to be "smooth". I know in advance that when I tell her that I like her that it will not do it in a very charming fashion, and I have only talked with her in class. I would probably ask her out after departing from this class, as I believe that this would actually be the least awkward situation.

 

My question is the following, "Does the approach really matter?" I am looking for what will eventually be a serious relationship (and I believe that she is, as well), and I cannot see a girl's viewpoint being affected by semantics and the so-called "approach". I am really shy (as is she), and I believe that if I made an effort to hang out with her on a regular basis, it would not be a fair portrayal of who I am as a person. Also, I would hope that I would not be shot down simply for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, as I hope girls are not so shallow as to do that.

 

Any advice would be appreciated. Just a fair warning, if you tell me that I need to change my act in order to "wow" a female, I will probably let the comment pass right over my head. I am a very genuine person, and I believe that a relationship founded upon one trying to impress the other will ultimately fail.

[MsMe]

My best advice would be to be yourself. Don't worry about making things "perfect". All that "smoothness" is over-rated in my opinion. I hope it all works out for you !

[dudecar46]

Thank you very much for your reply, and I sure hope that being myself is enough If anyone viewing this topic seems to think that the approach does matter, please post, as I am curious to why you think that.

[nikhilgore]

If things are meant to be then you will be yourself and she will like you for who you are. Just go out there with a sincere open heart and let fate play its role.

 

PS: Maybe you should take her to see the movie "hitch". It it the perfecto movie to break the ice

[MetallicAguy]

Approach does matter and you can't tell a girl that you have feelings for her unless she already has the same for you. Otherwise, she is just going to hear it and run away. I recommend reading this article and applying it to any girls (that you want to date) when your out in public. Article: link removed

 

I use it myself and it works excellent. Any questions on it PM me.

[Caldus]

Approach does matter and you can't tell a girl that you have feelings for her unless she already has the same for you. Otherwise, she is just going to hear it and run away. I recommend reading this article and applying it to any girls (that you want to date) when your out in public. Article: link removed

 

I use it myself and it works excellent. Any questions on it PM me.

 

Good article. I definitely agree with the statement that girls hate boring and predictable guys. Two strategies that I generally use are light touching during the date and the "cocky and funny" comments. I may touch her arm or her back but nowhere else. Also, I don't get too "cocky and funny" by any means. If I think something she says is absolutely ridiculous, then I'll lightly make fun of her about it.

 

In the end there is more than one way to skin a cat. 8)

[dudecar46]

Unfortunately, I am a pretty boring, predictable guy, and I would never do anything to change that impression. Basically, what I am being told by you, Metallic, is that with my personality, I stand little to no chance of ever making it with a girl.

 

I d not do anything in that article, as that is completely not my style, and not who I am as a person. I surely hope that you are not implying that I stand no chance at ever forming a relationship because of my individual character.

[goddess23]

honestly ofcourse the main thing is if she has AT LEAST SOME FEELIGNS FOR YOU. but really personally the approach doesnt really matter to me. i find it cute and charming when the guy isnt "smooth". if hes the guy i can wtach from afar and say wow hes pretty cool then thats what matters. like i mean if a guy likes me i dont expect him to be "cool", when hes just playing sports or talking to his friends and his personality comes out. so the actual hitting on or telling the girl you like her, the approach means very little. i mean if you're like a stalker (you know what i mean lol) and you dont know this girl AT ALL, like dont go to the same school or work place or whatever and you're going to try to get her number then ya your approach needs to be refined. otherwise not being super smooth is cute. if you're too smooth i would assume you do this ALOT and wouldnt be too impressed.

[dudecar46]

Goddess, that makes a lot of sense, and it is actually how I decide who I wish to pursue, myself. I am not a stalker, so I do not think I have to worry about a girl being creeped out.

 

And I am always one to lightly fan fun of the "rediculous" comments of others in a joking manner. Perhaps I can use this to my advantage...and perhaps the approach willjust come to me based upon my personality. Thank you very much for all of your help, it is greatly appreciated .