Not sure what to think

[sirhcorg]

My ex- and I broke up awhile ago. I tried to be friends with her but things went down hill after some drunk phone calls. After a few months of NC, I called her during winter break to see if we could be friends again. She said that she didn't want to be friends with me because she didn't have respect for me as a person. That was a couple months ago. I talk to her best friend every day and a few days ago, her friend asked me, "so u wouldnt be weirded out if [ex-] talked to u?"

 

I was wondering why she would talk to me after she told me she didn't want to speak to me and etc. Her best friend has been trying to convince her for a while that I've changed since those drunk phone calls and just now she "convinced her." From what I hear, her and her current boyfriend are about to break up. (But i dont think any of this is connected).

 

I fell in love with my ex- when we were going out but we broke up because I was going to college and she was still in high school. I still had feelings for her during break but I really wanted to move on. Now with this coming about, I don't want those feelings to come back but I do want to be friends with her. When I never spoke about her, those feelings were gone. When I talk about her, those feelings come back.

 

Basically, I'm not sure if I should speak to her or not. I think that if I talk to her, I would want her back but if I don't talk to her, I wouldn't want her back.

[MetallicAguy]

Well if a girl says she loses respect for you that is a big deal negatively. A drunk phone call is pretty bad. It's going to take some big explaining maybe even an apology depending on what you said. But talking to her and convincing her best friend isn't going to do all that good, tell her yourself. To her it doesn't seem your confident with getting the friendship back together by not talking to her in person directly.

[raggamuffin]

Sort yourself out. I dont think you really want her back, its more a case of wanting what you cant have. If you really wanted her you would want her regardless of if you contacted her or not. In my opinion let the girl move on without you. You would probably only be complicating her life if you contacted her. If she is going through another break up the last thing she needs is 2 exes to deal with. Sorry for being harsh its just that I know what it is like to have an ex interfer in yourlife when he is not wanted.

[sirhcorg]

The drunk phones calls weren't bad. I just told her that I still had feelings for her and etc (I made those right after we broke up). She just didn't like that fact that i was drinking. As for her friend talking to her, after I originally called her to be friends again during winter break, I told her that I was sorry for everything. She told me she didn't respect me and I left it as that and I'll give her what she wants.

 

I didn't pressure her or even talk to her friend to have her friend talk to her. She did it all herself. I remained friends with her best friend after we broke up and I talk to her daily. I was surprised when she told me about this because I thought it was over and that was it. I didn't even mention my ex- for the past couple months to anyone. If it's anyone who wants to be friends again, it's her and her friend.

[raggamuffin]

Right. So if it is your ex that wants to be friends with you then she will contact you. What her friend said may be of little substance and prehaps just a one off question. My friends and I ask eachother hypotheticals all the time not actually with the intention of making it happen just to get a better insight into a friends. I would just leave it be if I were you and move on.